OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

107
Millions of Screaming Yahoos, Part 4.
Originally posted Apr 21, 2004
So, I finally got to meet Ray, my other neighbor, today. I had planned the
event all day at work, but then said fuck it, and went with simplicity.
I invited Crazy Steve over, and told him to bring Ray. I baited
him with the promise of letting him shoot my old 10 gauge
IGA coach-gun. At first reluctant, the poor sap could not resist
the chance to fire a monster sawed off shotgun.
"Should I bring anything?"
"Yeah. Grab some beer. GOOD beer, not that cheap shit you
swill. Make it Guinness or Hacker-Pschorr."
He hung up, and I laid out the coachgun, some "special" shells,
the magic bourbon (see part 3), put Bowzer in the downstairs
bedroom, which is on the LEFT side of the hall (keep this in
mind...the bathroom is on the RIGHT), and put the empty
bottle of Antabuse in the pocket of my shotgun vest (NOT a
sissy...If you don't wear a shotgun vest while firing an IGA
coachgun, you won't use your arm for a week. A 10 gauge is
like a howitzer).
Forty-five minutes later, Crazy Steve and Ray knocked on the
door. Close up, Ray was even more feral looking than I
remembered (though I did not realize that was possible). I said
hello, and he responded with - I shit you not - "White power,
brother!"
White power, indeed. I led them out back, and Crazy Steve's
eyes lit up. He didn't quite seem to know what to grab first, the
shotgun, or the bourbon. I handed him the shotgun, and offered
him the vest.
or kill me