OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

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191 Life in the Age of Dumb, Part 4: Federales don't joke. Originally posted Jul 14, 2004 Rick was laughing, as we made our final approach into San Carlos. I was nursing a knock on the head from the windowframe, and Tom, the oil-boy, was retching helplessly back in the cargo compartment. Our cargo was a coffin, which Rick had explained contained a man whose family wished to have buried in his home town, which lay just outside of San Carlos proper. I was hoping that Tom hadn't puked on the coffin, as the customs agents might find that to be disrespectful. The cabin stunk of vomit and urine, due to a combination of Tom's retching, and an accident involving a sudden 300 foot drop in altitude and a relief tube. We had just flown through a freak patch of turbulence over Uvalde, and the Beech had responded in it's usual way...by trying to crash. Rick had spent the whole time laughing like a madman, and telling me how this reminded him of "the good old days" in Central America. "Of course, back then, we'd be dead. We usually crossed the border at about 200 feet...less customs paperwork, less nosy questions about planes loaded with guns, money, or drugs. After 911, though, you'd better not try THAT shit...they replaced all that cruddy civilian radar with military grade stuff. A fly can't get through without showing up, now." "Really?", I asked, "Then how do the drug dealers get all their or kill me
192 shit through?" Rick just looked at me, and laughed. There was further groaning over the intercom. Rick laughed, and said, "Kids these days...they just don't know how to have a good time." We landed at the San Carlos airport, and taxied up to a rusty hangar. Rick looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Listen, you just keep your mouth shut. These federales don't joke around. Get out of line, you'll spend the rest of your life in a Mexican jail. I know these people...let me do the talking." "Okay", I said, "but why all the fuss over a dead guy?" Rick just stared at me for a moment, and burst out laughing. "Get the kid and unload the stiff." Tom and I got to work putting the coffin on a dolly, while Rick looked around outside. Just as we got the casket on the ground, a pickup truck marked with the Mexican customs department logo pulled up. A small man got out, and came around the car to Rick. "Your paperwork, Senor?", he asked. Rick handed him a manifest, and a large manilla envelope. The man looked in the envelope, stamped our papers without looking at them, and said, "Welcome to Mexico. Enjoy your stay." He then got back in his truck, and drove off. Tom started to ask something, but I gave him a look, and he shut up. Rick went back to the plane, and grabbed two mapcases. He or kill me
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OR KILL ME!! Heresies, Rants, Sermo
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2 CONTENTS PART ONE: Sermons 3 PART
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4 Rev Roger Sermon #1: A rant/sermo
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6 Rev Roger Sermon 2: Attack of the
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8 Rev Roger sermon #3 ...get yer ba
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10 But what of those brains? When's
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12 supervisor, I caught an intervie
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14 boy)...and it ISN'T GOING TO! No
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16 Now, the money grubbing b@stards
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18 transition will be easier. Hell,
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20 his frickin' Gestapo, the proble
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22 this: If you get out of line, we
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24 you are no longer afraid of mist
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26 Rev Roger Sermon #11: Land of th
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28 Why the hell should they? They h
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30 crazy-glueing the enter button (
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32 that the battles of the 60s had
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34 the descendants of slaves who ch
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36 You could get on the internet an
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38 Rev Roger Sermon#17 What have yo
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40 legally) booger up the local ATF
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42 Rev Roger Sermon #18: DOOM Origi
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44 that the fun might ever come bac
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46 Grayfaces do not know they are d
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48 Rev Roger Sermon #21: Leeetttts
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50 Rev Roger Sermon #22: The Machin
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52 So if you wish to have a plutocr
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54 With Zevon gone, the most I can
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56 trying...There will be NO revolu
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58 Sermon #25: THE FINAL WORD Origi
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60 4. Do I feel that I have the rig
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62 Rev Roger Special Bonus Sermon #
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64 the bottle, drop the dugout, and
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66 anymore...but your parents ARE.
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68 People are dragged out of line i
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70 most nations, I seriously doubt
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72 All these things I have seen, an
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74 Word Game" or "What are you eati
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76 The Good Rev Roger Sermon #33: T
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78 That’s right, the television
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80 passers by with your message…a
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82 Sermon #34: Classified. φ or ki
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84 He really DOES laugh at the GOP
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86 Rev Roger: The Heresies, chapter
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88 6. Free Radicals: A Free Radical
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90 We are mutants. That's right, mu
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92 Heresies 3: Classified. Ξ or ki
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94 Eris is the goddess of DISCORD.
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96 4. Latent Discordians - Discordi
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98 PART Three Millions of Screaming
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100 By HAMZA HENDAWI, Associated Pr
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102 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, p
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104 accomplishment. "See, Millie? T
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106 rednecks, Antabuse is a powerfu
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108 "What kind of pussy do you thin
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114 "I think I have the answer to t
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116 seem to be without sin, so you
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118 Image: A run-down doublewide tr
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120 Jim said, "Well, watch your bac
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126 Now, Bowzer has always been an
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128 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, P
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130 I thought for a moment, and sai
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134 Cheryl slapped me, burst into t
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136 pitch black, and I couldn't see
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138 bastards off, and we can do it
Page 141 and 142: 140 himself Jose. Listening in, I r
Page 143 and 144: 142 To my relief, Amy was sleeping
Page 145 and 146: 144 near Tombstone. Johnny Ringo wa
Page 147 and 148: 146 "'Clubs', eh? Sounds a little..
Page 149 and 150: 148 Millions of Screaming Yahoos #1
Page 151 and 152: 150 Seth and I had been the only tw
Page 153 and 154: 152 Instead of talking, I pondered
Page 155 and 156: 154 I was a little surprised, and a
Page 157 and 158: 156 Seth answered it. After a short
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Page 161 and 162: 160 her new home. The only sacred t
Page 163 and 164: 162 "Excellent. Thanks, I'll go get
Page 165 and 166: 164 BIG the interior of the truck's
Page 167 and 168: 166 Millions of Screaming Yahoos 19
Page 169 and 170: 168 PART Four: ROGER’S Epistles o
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Page 173 and 174: 172 Rev Roger, Epistle 2: Join the
Page 175 and 176: 174 Rev Roger Epistle#3: How do YOU
Page 177 and 178: 176 Rev Roger, Epistle #4: To the R
Page 179 and 180: 178 Elite, and they get to have the
Page 181 and 182: 180 wrong...we are congenital troub
Page 183 and 184: 182 PART FIVE: Life in the Age of D
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Page 187 and 188: 186 say AVERAGE, not MEDIAN. What t
Page 189 and 190: 188 Life in the Age of Dumb, part 3
Page 191: 190 Bad craziness...any fool can se
Page 195 and 196: 194 "I thought we were overnighting
Page 197 and 198: 196 Life in the Age of Dumb, part 5
Page 199 and 200: 198 Life in the Age of Dumb, art 6:
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Page 205 and 206: 204 Rev Roger Rant #1: Roger Gets H
Page 207 and 208: 206 Rev Roger, Rant #2: Get Off Of
Page 209 and 210: 208 Rev Roger Rant #3: Why I killed
Page 211 and 212: 210 Or maybe not...maybe they'd jus
Page 213 and 214: 212 Rev Roger, Rant#5: Eris isn't t
Page 215 and 216: 214 Rev Roger, Rant 6: The End(tm)
Page 217 and 218: 216 "But what about Little Billy?",
Page 219 and 220: 218 another. He isn't REALLY mockin
Page 221 and 222: 220 totally arbitrary decisions, ju
Page 223 and 224: 222 Rev Roger Rant #10: Where the H
Page 225 and 226: 224 Who has the correct idea? Well,
Page 227 and 228: 226 PMs (he can't, but he doesn't e
Page 229 and 230: 228 Rev Roger, Rant #14: What's My
Page 231 and 232: 230 Rev Roger, Rant 16: That's All
Page 233 and 234: 232 world is - and will remain - a
Page 235 and 236: 234 Goodbye, Pedro. Originally post
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Page 239 and 240: 238 Our police will protect you fro
Page 241 and 242: 240 The Gospel According to Roger B
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242 Transcript #32 WAKE UP! Huh? WA
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244 Rev Roger's election rant #1: T
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246 Originally posted Jun 06, 2005
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248 10 more things I know are true:
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250 Lost in America, part 1. Origin
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252 ...Back to mi casa, lock the do
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254 my associate here doesn't look
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256 Lost in America #3: Lost ₪ or
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OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

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