OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

100
By HAMZA HENDAWI, Associated Press Writer
NAJAF, Iraq - Insurgents and rebellious Shiites mounted a
string of attacks across Iraq's Shiite south and U.S. Marines
launched a major assault on the turbulent Sunni city of
Fallujah on Tuesday. Up to a dozen Marines, two more
coalition soldiers and at least 66 Iraqis were reported killed.
Troops were battling in a half-dozen cities on two fronts in
some of the most extensive fighting since President Bush
declared major combat over on May 1. U.S. forces fought
insurgents in Sunni triangle cities of Fallujah and Ramadi west
of Baghdad, and coalition troops battled Shiite militiamen of
radical cleric Muqtada al-Sadr in the south.
"America has shown its evil intentions, and the proud Iraqi
people cannot accept it," al-Sadr said in a statement. "They
must defend their rights by any means they see fit."
I hoped that would bring him to his senses...yet he persisted.
He said he wanted to get in on the action overseas, and though
that (as a veteran) I would understand.
I asked him why he didn't just enlist, as last time I heard, the
Army and the Marines are still hiring. He responded, "Well, I
wanted to, man, but there's two problems...one is that bust for
cocaine five years ago...I told you about that. Plus, they pisstest
you in the service. Besides, in Blackwater, I won't have to
be under military discipline. It'll be one big party." He then
asked again if I would write a personal recommendation for
him.
I threw up my hands, and did the only thing that a man could
do in that situtation...I sicced Bowzer on him again, and
watched as Steve frantically went for the door. He just cleared
or kill me