OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

113
On to the meat of the matter:
I was minding my own business, knocking rocks out of the
suspension of one of the Cats, when Bud came up to me,
looking upset. I expected that, because I had sent him to scrub
the conveyors (our conveyors are self-cleaning.
Heh.)...however, he was upset about something else.
"Hey, man, I got a big problem", he mumbled, "and I need
some advice."
Now, the LAST thing I want to do is listen to some scurvy little
redneck whine, so I kept working. Alas, Bud didn't take the
hint, and kept on jabbering.
"Cheryl's pregnant...I don't know what to do."
I put down my hammer and drift pin, and turned to to him. And
stared, blank-faced. Bud started to (finally) become
uncomfortable.
"It's her fault, man. She shoulda been on the pill."
A vague memory of another conversation with Bud (that I had
also been unable to ignore) surfaced in my mind...
"Bud, didn't you say that you had a vasectomy?"
"Yeah, but I only say that because I hate wearing rubbers, and
when you say things like that, word gets around. Give me some
advice, man, I gotta do something"
I stared at him in disgust for another few moments. Then, I
decided that Bud was right. Something HAD to be done.
or kill me