OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

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123 civilized era, and came through the civil rights era without becoming bitter. He was honestly puzzled by bigots, and often remarked that most Klansmen hated themselves more than they hated him. It was kinda like working with Yoda. When the accident occurred, the reactions people had were a true indication that the world didn't deserve my friend. The driver of the forklift that struck him was worried about his job. The plant manager was worried about OSHA, Bud was pissed that he had to clean up the mess, and (of course) Susan was "worried about his soul". "It's a shame", she said with a smug little smirk, "he wasn't saved. Now he's in hell." Shortly thereafter, Susan was doing his job, cleaning toilets. There is some bullshit I will not tolerate...and I couldn't think of any better way to make her regret Henry's demise. I don't really know where Henry is, but I like to think he's with his Evangeline, singing 1950s Blues tunes and drinking a cold one. If there is ANY justice in this rotten, maggot infested universe, that's the case. Heaven was MADE for people like him...many will be called, and few, indeed, will be chosen. Assholes like Bud and Susan will be snatched by the neck, and thrown into the pit, where bill collectors pound on your door, and televangelists scream from your TV, and the IRS collects your limbs in lieu of taxes...an eternity of listening to assholes like Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon, and Jerry Falwell...where nothing seems right, and... Whoops. I meant to talk about heaven, and somehow wound up talking about hell...or my town. Take your pick. Or kill me. or kill me
124 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, part 9 Originally posted Jun 23, 2004 Since so many of you have PM'd me asking about Cheryl, I thought I'd just barf it all out in the open. For those of you with dirty minds, there is no hanky-panky involved. The kid is young enough to be my daughter, fer chrissakes. I'm not Bud, and I resent the implication. For the rest of you, Cheryl is turning into quite the angry little <strong>Discordia</strong>n. She's a hell of a shot, and she drives more aggressively than I do...which ain't bad, considering I just taught her HOW to drive (and shoot, for that matter). Fortunately, my ancient Jeep is (so far) up to the challenge...though I DID just have to teach her how to strip a rim. No donut will ever degrade the hubs of my Detroit dinosaur. Bowzer follows her around slavishly, but he always was a sucker for the ladies. Fine by me...Bud got a chance to meet Bowzer, today. Cheryl and I took the day off of work, to celebrate her getting her license. We took the Jeep up into the hills, and alternated 4- wheeling with blasting away at random rock outcroppings until dusk. Then, we headed into town to wash the dust out of our throats. We stopped in at the Towne Tap (no joke, it's really called that), and I grabbed a Hacker-Pschorr and a table. Cheryl got herself a coke, and a bowl of water for the mutt. The Town Tap is the kind of loser bar that is uplifted by the presence of a mean dog...But what can you expect of a place that would hire Crazy Steve? or kill me
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OR KILL ME!! Heresies, Rants, Sermo
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2 CONTENTS PART ONE: Sermons 3 PART
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4 Rev Roger Sermon #1: A rant/sermo
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6 Rev Roger Sermon 2: Attack of the
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8 Rev Roger sermon #3 ...get yer ba
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10 But what of those brains? When's
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12 supervisor, I caught an intervie
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14 boy)...and it ISN'T GOING TO! No
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16 Now, the money grubbing b@stards
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18 transition will be easier. Hell,
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20 his frickin' Gestapo, the proble
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22 this: If you get out of line, we
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24 you are no longer afraid of mist
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26 Rev Roger Sermon #11: Land of th
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28 Why the hell should they? They h
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30 crazy-glueing the enter button (
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32 that the battles of the 60s had
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34 the descendants of slaves who ch
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36 You could get on the internet an
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38 Rev Roger Sermon#17 What have yo
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40 legally) booger up the local ATF
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42 Rev Roger Sermon #18: DOOM Origi
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44 that the fun might ever come bac
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46 Grayfaces do not know they are d
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48 Rev Roger Sermon #21: Leeetttts
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50 Rev Roger Sermon #22: The Machin
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52 So if you wish to have a plutocr
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54 With Zevon gone, the most I can
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56 trying...There will be NO revolu
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58 Sermon #25: THE FINAL WORD Origi
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60 4. Do I feel that I have the rig
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62 Rev Roger Special Bonus Sermon #
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64 the bottle, drop the dugout, and
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66 anymore...but your parents ARE.
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68 People are dragged out of line i
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70 most nations, I seriously doubt
Page 73 and 74: 72 All these things I have seen, an
Page 75 and 76: 74 Word Game" or "What are you eati
Page 77 and 78: 76 The Good Rev Roger Sermon #33: T
Page 79 and 80: 78 That’s right, the television
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Page 83 and 84: 82 Sermon #34: Classified. φ or ki
Page 85 and 86: 84 He really DOES laugh at the GOP
Page 87 and 88: 86 Rev Roger: The Heresies, chapter
Page 89 and 90: 88 6. Free Radicals: A Free Radical
Page 91 and 92: 90 We are mutants. That's right, mu
Page 93 and 94: 92 Heresies 3: Classified. Ξ or ki
Page 95 and 96: 94 Eris is the goddess of DISCORD.
Page 97 and 98: 96 4. Latent Discordians - Discordi
Page 99 and 100: 98 PART Three Millions of Screaming
Page 101 and 102: 100 By HAMZA HENDAWI, Associated Pr
Page 103 and 104: 102 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, p
Page 105 and 106: 104 accomplishment. "See, Millie? T
Page 107 and 108: 106 rednecks, Antabuse is a powerfu
Page 109 and 110: 108 "What kind of pussy do you thin
Page 115 and 116: 114 "I think I have the answer to t
Page 117 and 118: 116 seem to be without sin, so you
Page 119 and 120: 118 Image: A run-down doublewide tr
Page 121 and 122: 120 Jim said, "Well, watch your bac
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Page 127 and 128: 126 Now, Bowzer has always been an
Page 129 and 130: 128 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, P
Page 131 and 132: 130 I thought for a moment, and sai
Page 135 and 136: 134 Cheryl slapped me, burst into t
Page 137 and 138: 136 pitch black, and I couldn't see
Page 139 and 140: 138 bastards off, and we can do it
Page 141 and 142: 140 himself Jose. Listening in, I r
Page 143 and 144: 142 To my relief, Amy was sleeping
Page 145 and 146: 144 near Tombstone. Johnny Ringo wa
Page 147 and 148: 146 "'Clubs', eh? Sounds a little..
Page 149 and 150: 148 Millions of Screaming Yahoos #1
Page 151 and 152: 150 Seth and I had been the only tw
Page 153 and 154: 152 Instead of talking, I pondered
Page 155 and 156: 154 I was a little surprised, and a
Page 157 and 158: 156 Seth answered it. After a short
Page 159 and 160: 158 added with a giggle, "He's a wi
Page 161 and 162: 160 her new home. The only sacred t
Page 163 and 164: 162 "Excellent. Thanks, I'll go get
Page 165 and 166: 164 BIG the interior of the truck's
Page 167 and 168: 166 Millions of Screaming Yahoos 19
Page 169 and 170: 168 PART Four: ROGER’S Epistles o
Page 171 and 172: 170 the left feels morally superior
Page 173 and 174: 172 Rev Roger, Epistle 2: Join the
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174 Rev Roger Epistle#3: How do YOU
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176 Rev Roger, Epistle #4: To the R
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178 Elite, and they get to have the
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180 wrong...we are congenital troub
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182 PART FIVE: Life in the Age of D
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184 Rick takes truly foolish chance
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186 say AVERAGE, not MEDIAN. What t
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188 Life in the Age of Dumb, part 3
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190 Bad craziness...any fool can se
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192 shit through?" Rick just looked
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194 "I thought we were overnighting
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196 Life in the Age of Dumb, part 5
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198 Life in the Age of Dumb, art 6:
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200 heedless of The crumbling found
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202 Sr was talking about when he sa
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204 Rev Roger Rant #1: Roger Gets H
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206 Rev Roger, Rant #2: Get Off Of
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208 Rev Roger Rant #3: Why I killed
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210 Or maybe not...maybe they'd jus
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212 Rev Roger, Rant#5: Eris isn't t
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214 Rev Roger, Rant 6: The End(tm)
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216 "But what about Little Billy?",
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218 another. He isn't REALLY mockin
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220 totally arbitrary decisions, ju
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222 Rev Roger Rant #10: Where the H
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224 Who has the correct idea? Well,
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226 PMs (he can't, but he doesn't e
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228 Rev Roger, Rant #14: What's My
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230 Rev Roger, Rant 16: That's All
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232 world is - and will remain - a
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234 Goodbye, Pedro. Originally post
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236 - serious about having a good t
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238 Our police will protect you fro
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240 The Gospel According to Roger B
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242 Transcript #32 WAKE UP! Huh? WA
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244 Rev Roger's election rant #1: T
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246 Originally posted Jun 06, 2005
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248 10 more things I know are true:
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250 Lost in America, part 1. Origin
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252 ...Back to mi casa, lock the do
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254 my associate here doesn't look
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256 Lost in America #3: Lost ₪ or
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OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

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