OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

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211 we don't have to wait until tomorrow...after all, Hamje and Padillo are American citizens. Yep, we'll ALL be in jail before long, for reasons that will never be made clear...but no worries; that's tomorrow, and today you have to level your d00d up in World of Warcraft. Besides, everyone knows The Good Reverend likes to predict doom and gloom, and usually speaks cryptically, just to look mysterious. So you're better off ignoring this, even the fact that the NEXT thing they're going to do is Or Kill Me. or kill me
212 Rev Roger, Rant#5: Eris isn't the creator, so STFU! Originally posted Sep 23, 2005 Let me start off by saying that mechanical engineers are dicks, as anyone who has ever spun a wrench can tell you. They like to make things compact and symetrical, which makes things almost impossible to fix. Now, there has been some talk in discordian circles that implies that Eris is the creator. This is, of course, absolute rubbish. Would Eris design a species that is bilaterally symetrical at the expense of functionality? Hell, no...she'd have included shit like tentacles, mandibles, and a bigass robot gripper arm sticking out of our arses. No, the goofy design we got stuck with is more likely the work of the humorless, OCD-afflicted space monster Jehovah. It is SO him to design a ridiculous species that can't run, can't fight, and can't even hide properly. No, he made us tool users, but - like all engineers - he put form over substance. He made us bilaterally symetrical, when anyone can see that a tool using species should have at least three arms. Two to HOLD the object you are working on/with, and one to MANIPULATE it. Plus, he used cheap materials, which wear out in only 75 years or so. Hell there are aircraft older than that, still flying. Plus, he included things like the veriform appendix, which is just there to kill us at random times. DEFINITELY a Friday rush-job. Perhaps he should have spent the seventh day reviewing his design, rather than loafing. or kill me
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OR KILL ME!! Heresies, Rants, Sermo
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2 CONTENTS PART ONE: Sermons 3 PART
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4 Rev Roger Sermon #1: A rant/sermo
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6 Rev Roger Sermon 2: Attack of the
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8 Rev Roger sermon #3 ...get yer ba
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10 But what of those brains? When's
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12 supervisor, I caught an intervie
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14 boy)...and it ISN'T GOING TO! No
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16 Now, the money grubbing b@stards
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18 transition will be easier. Hell,
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20 his frickin' Gestapo, the proble
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22 this: If you get out of line, we
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24 you are no longer afraid of mist
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26 Rev Roger Sermon #11: Land of th
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28 Why the hell should they? They h
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30 crazy-glueing the enter button (
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32 that the battles of the 60s had
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34 the descendants of slaves who ch
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36 You could get on the internet an
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38 Rev Roger Sermon#17 What have yo
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40 legally) booger up the local ATF
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42 Rev Roger Sermon #18: DOOM Origi
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44 that the fun might ever come bac
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46 Grayfaces do not know they are d
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48 Rev Roger Sermon #21: Leeetttts
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50 Rev Roger Sermon #22: The Machin
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52 So if you wish to have a plutocr
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54 With Zevon gone, the most I can
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56 trying...There will be NO revolu
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58 Sermon #25: THE FINAL WORD Origi
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60 4. Do I feel that I have the rig
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62 Rev Roger Special Bonus Sermon #
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64 the bottle, drop the dugout, and
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66 anymore...but your parents ARE.
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68 People are dragged out of line i
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70 most nations, I seriously doubt
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72 All these things I have seen, an
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74 Word Game" or "What are you eati
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76 The Good Rev Roger Sermon #33: T
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78 That’s right, the television
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80 passers by with your message…a
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82 Sermon #34: Classified. φ or ki
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84 He really DOES laugh at the GOP
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86 Rev Roger: The Heresies, chapter
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88 6. Free Radicals: A Free Radical
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90 We are mutants. That's right, mu
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92 Heresies 3: Classified. Ξ or ki
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94 Eris is the goddess of DISCORD.
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96 4. Latent Discordians - Discordi
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98 PART Three Millions of Screaming
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100 By HAMZA HENDAWI, Associated Pr
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102 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, p
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104 accomplishment. "See, Millie? T
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106 rednecks, Antabuse is a powerfu
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108 "What kind of pussy do you thin
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114 "I think I have the answer to t
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116 seem to be without sin, so you
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118 Image: A run-down doublewide tr
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120 Jim said, "Well, watch your bac
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126 Now, Bowzer has always been an
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128 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, P
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130 I thought for a moment, and sai
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134 Cheryl slapped me, burst into t
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136 pitch black, and I couldn't see
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138 bastards off, and we can do it
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140 himself Jose. Listening in, I r
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142 To my relief, Amy was sleeping
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144 near Tombstone. Johnny Ringo wa
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146 "'Clubs', eh? Sounds a little..
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148 Millions of Screaming Yahoos #1
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150 Seth and I had been the only tw
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152 Instead of talking, I pondered
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154 I was a little surprised, and a
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156 Seth answered it. After a short
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158 added with a giggle, "He's a wi
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Page 163 and 164: 162 "Excellent. Thanks, I'll go get
Page 165 and 166: 164 BIG the interior of the truck's
Page 167 and 168: 166 Millions of Screaming Yahoos 19
Page 169 and 170: 168 PART Four: ROGER’S Epistles o
Page 171 and 172: 170 the left feels morally superior
Page 173 and 174: 172 Rev Roger, Epistle 2: Join the
Page 175 and 176: 174 Rev Roger Epistle#3: How do YOU
Page 177 and 178: 176 Rev Roger, Epistle #4: To the R
Page 179 and 180: 178 Elite, and they get to have the
Page 181 and 182: 180 wrong...we are congenital troub
Page 183 and 184: 182 PART FIVE: Life in the Age of D
Page 185 and 186: 184 Rick takes truly foolish chance
Page 187 and 188: 186 say AVERAGE, not MEDIAN. What t
Page 189 and 190: 188 Life in the Age of Dumb, part 3
Page 191 and 192: 190 Bad craziness...any fool can se
Page 193 and 194: 192 shit through?" Rick just looked
Page 195 and 196: 194 "I thought we were overnighting
Page 197 and 198: 196 Life in the Age of Dumb, part 5
Page 199 and 200: 198 Life in the Age of Dumb, art 6:
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Page 205 and 206: 204 Rev Roger Rant #1: Roger Gets H
Page 207 and 208: 206 Rev Roger, Rant #2: Get Off Of
Page 209 and 210: 208 Rev Roger Rant #3: Why I killed
Page 211: 210 Or maybe not...maybe they'd jus
Page 215 and 216: 214 Rev Roger, Rant 6: The End(tm)
Page 217 and 218: 216 "But what about Little Billy?",
Page 219 and 220: 218 another. He isn't REALLY mockin
Page 221 and 222: 220 totally arbitrary decisions, ju
Page 223 and 224: 222 Rev Roger Rant #10: Where the H
Page 225 and 226: 224 Who has the correct idea? Well,
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Page 229 and 230: 228 Rev Roger, Rant #14: What's My
Page 231 and 232: 230 Rev Roger, Rant 16: That's All
Page 233 and 234: 232 world is - and will remain - a
Page 235 and 236: 234 Goodbye, Pedro. Originally post
Page 237 and 238: 236 - serious about having a good t
Page 239 and 240: 238 Our police will protect you fro
Page 241 and 242: 240 The Gospel According to Roger B
Page 243 and 244: 242 Transcript #32 WAKE UP! Huh? WA
Page 245 and 246: 244 Rev Roger's election rant #1: T
Page 247 and 248: 246 Originally posted Jun 06, 2005
Page 249 and 250: 248 10 more things I know are true:
Page 251 and 252: 250 Lost in America, part 1. Origin
Page 253 and 254: 252 ...Back to mi casa, lock the do
Page 255 and 256: 254 my associate here doesn't look
Page 257: 256 Lost in America #3: Lost ₪ or
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OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

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