OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

108
"What kind of pussy do you think I am?" he asked. I shrugged,
and handed him 3 rounds of the "special" ammo...DOUBLE
loaded 00 buckshot. Of course, you can't SEE the fact that
there's TWICE as much powder in the shell...perfectly SAFE,
in a brute of a weapon like the superb German-made IGA,
but...well, let's just say it has a little bit of a kick.
Ray and I drank a Hacker each, while Crazy Steve set up some
clay ducks on the side of the hill at the end of my property. Ray
was already on the way to piss drunk when he arrived, and was
having difficulty standing.
BAM! Crazy Steve yelped at the recoil, and dropped the
shotgun...blood trickled down his forehead, where the barrel
had actually struck him. The poor bastard hadn't tucked it well,
and it jumped in his grip like a cobra. I laughed, and picked up
the coachgun, cracking it open as I did so.
"Gawwdamn! That kicks like a fucking mule! You got any ice?
My head hurts."
No, I said, I didn't have any ice, but perhaps a stiff drink would
give him a little spine. I tossed him the Bourbon, and he took a
good, long pull. 90 seconds and counting.
As luck would have it, Ray asked where the bathroom was. I
told him to piss in the field...and he replied that he had to shit.
"No problem. Go inside, down the hall, to the left."
He went inside, as Crazy Steve started to look ill.
"What's wrong, Steve? You look a little peaked."
"Dunno. Maybe something I ate."
or kill me