OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

83
Sermon 35:
Killing Little Billy.
What's the matter, Bunkie? You say that some jackass with one
schtick to his name derailed your thread? You say he didn't
take your cherished beliefs seriously, and told jokes while you
were busy enlightening people with your informed and dearly
held opinions?
You say he giggles like a loon at inappropriate times, and has
badwrong ideas about authority, moral or otherwise? You say
he responds to your carefully crafted manifestos with a oneliner?
That he acts like he has a head full of broken glass, and a
heart full of hate for all that is just and decent and good? You
say he refuses to take sides between the two packs of
dumbasses that pretend to oppose each other, like every good
American should?
You say that the worst part is that you halfway believe that he
really thinks this way, and isn't just clowning? That he
REALLY despises America and apple pie and rainy days and
long walks in the park? You're beginning to think that he isn't
joking when he makes fun of the president and the free
market(tm)? And maybe you think that he shouldn't be allowed
to run loose?
Well, you'd be right, Bunkie, because - as a Subgenius(tm) - he
is all this and more. He, and 30,000 people like him really DO
despise this toxic dump we like to call "modern civilization",
and he'll do everything he can to jam up the gears with his
asshattery...Whether through daily crap like malfunctioning
toilets and ATMs, to buggering with a federal election, albeit
peripherally (and legally, too, which makes it even funnier).
or kill me