OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

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sight. Bowzer had literally chewed his pants off, in the affected
area. He looked to be intact, though he had some nasty
abrasions.
Bud called her a lying bitch, and she got the SWEETEST little
smile on her face. You know THAT ain't good. She grabbed
the tobasco sauce bottle off of the table, opened it, and
DRAINED IT ONTO HIS (abraded) DICK.
The whole bar groaned in sypathetic pain, myself included.
Bud went as white as a sheet, and scrabbled across the floor
towards the bathroom, howling all the way. The horror. I'm
STILL wincing, hours later.
We decided it was time to leave. We climbed in the Jeep, and
took off down that proud highway that is the ONLY saving
grace of this state. I drove, and Cheryl sang along with the
Rolling Stones, hugging Bowzer every few minutes; Bowzer
ate it up, proud as hell. Damn, I love that dawg.
I thought about her Aunt and Uncle coming out to check things
out. What would they make of all of this? The shy, selfconscious
(and self-denigrating) little girl they knew has
somehow morphed into a gun freak with a violent streak that
even *I* didn't expect. How will they react? Will they be
horrified? Shocked? Probably. But what can I do? My little
rogue Discordian is growing up so fast (sniff). More to the
point, what SHOULD I do? She will be better served with a
mean streak than with her previous victim mentality...as long
as I can teach her how to stay out of jail, that is ("See what I
do? Don't do that.").
Heh. Tobasco sauce on a mutilated crotch. I feel like John the
Baptist. A far greater Discordian than I cometh...
Or kill me.
or kill me