OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

143
Rev Roger, Millions of Screaming Yahoos #14:
Just desserts.
originally posted Sep 7, 2005
It's an awful feeling, realizing that you have, in fact, become
the people your mother warned you about. I do not mean this in
the sophomoric sense of a teenager's braggadosio a week after
he sneaks his first beer, but rather the sense that you have
actually become the wrong sort of people. You know you're
fucked, but there doesn't seem to be any way out.
Amelia Earhardt must have had a similar feeling, as she
watched the "island" she was headed for turn out to be a tidal
atoll. She must have felt a sinking feeling of dread and panic as
she realized that here there is no safety...you are not saved, and
your tanks are empty. Imagine what must have been going
through her head when the engine began to sputter, and she
began that last, long spiral down to an island that was really a
killing jar. With 12 hours, nothing will be left except a shoe
found almost 50 years later. Doom, in its truest sense.
Ho ho! How's THAT for a happy ending, folks? A situation
where the worst possible ending would be to survive the
crash...lying injured on a coral reef, watching the water edge
upward, a few inches at a time? The Good Reverend
understands how she must have felt.
How, you may ask, did The Good Reverend find himself in
such a sorry state? Well, pull up a chair, and I'll tell you...
It began a few days after the Judge and I made our disasterous
pulque-run to Nogales. I was woken by a call from the Judge,
who said he had a proposal for me...my heart filled with dread,
but you simply don't tell the Judge no. I grabbed a quick
shower, and drove the 2 hours to his ranch in the mountains
or kill me