OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

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other players had overheard the whole thing, and suddenly
remembered that they had urgent business elsewhere. Can't
blame them...who wants to play poker with Padre Dolor when
he has a head full of mescaline? A double dose, no less?
After mulling over this for an indeterminate period of time, it
struck me that I'd like to go for a drive. A fast tear up Mount
Lemon and back, that would be just the thing to straighten out
my head. I got up from the table, and walked out back to the
car...but Seth had fucked me again. My key, it seems, was the
horizontal type, and the lock was vertical.
The only thing to do, of course, was to shoot the lock out. I had
my pistol half way out of its holster, when Maria grabbed my
arm.
"Hey", she said, "Can I drive?"
"I don't know...can you?" This seemed to be the very height of
wit, and I started laughing like a loon. She rolled her eyes, and
grabbed the keys out of my hand.
I grudgingly got in the passenger side, and she asked "So,
where are we going?"
"Up Mount Lemon. I have people there."
"Um, nobody lives on Mount Lemon, Roger. It's a bare rock,
and there's no way we'd get up the damn thing in the dark."
"Oh. Then get on the highway, and drive really fast. I have to
get the bugs out of my hair. They're sharp."
I don't remember much after that, except that Maria seemed to
be lost, and was arguing with Seth on the cell phone a lot. This
didn't bother me much, because I was totally amazed at how
or kill me