OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

145
business, and I have already done my good deed in this
department, so I shut up and ate a delicious lunch. Amy, it
turns out, is a wonderful cook, and - I couldn't help noticing -
was doting over the Judge like he was the only man on Earth.
During lunch, he told me that Bud had been found half-dead by
the border patrol, walking in circles in the desert. He was
returned on a warrant that the Judge was to dispense with the
following day. We had a good laugh at this, especially Amy
(who had been left to her fate by Bud, as you may recall), and
chased lunch with some ice cold homebrew beer.
As we finished, the Judge looked at me across the table and
said, "I liked the way you handled yourself the other day."
"What are you talking about? I got blindsided...I didn't have a
chance to do anything."
"I know that, Roger...but you took the whole thing like a
trooper. Most people would have gone to shit in a Mexican jail,
but you slept like a baby. Hell, I was so nervous I had to ask
that short dude to dance...hehehehe."
I saw no need to tell the Judge that the reason I was able to
sleep was the massive blow to the head I took earlier, which
made me too miserable to be afraid.
The Judge continued, "Listen, I have some business interests in
Tucson that need to be managed more closely than I can
manage with my judicial calendar. I need a man with a cool
head to take care of things for me."
"What kind of business interests?"
"A few bodegas, shitholes, really, and a couple of 'clubs'". I
could hear the quotes.
or kill me