OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

240
The Gospel According to Roger
Book 1, Chapter 1:
Once upon a time, there was a man. We'll call him Fred.
One day, Fred woke up to find an enormous machine in front
of his house. The machine was, indeed, so large that it blocked
out the sun. Fred was looking at the machine through his
bedroom window, when there was a knock at the door.
Answering the door, Fred found a fat man in an expensive suit,
with a tube extending from the machine to his ass.
"Hello", said Fred. The man just smiled at him.
"Can I help you with something?" Still nothing more than a
smile.
"What the hell do you want?", fred demanded, beginning to get
angry.
"Well, there you go," said the fat man, "All you have to do is
ask the right questions. I am The Machine, and I have come for
you."
"Me?"
"Well, you, and everyone you know. Your family, your friends,
your co-workers...we get them all, eventually."
"Um...okay", Fred responded, "but why?"
or kill me