OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

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27 This here's a discordian site! What the hell are you doing getting all political on us?" Well, I have bad news, kids. The Man doesn't CARE if you like haiku or word association. He doesn't CARE if you are a free thinking poet who likes a little chaos. He doesn't even care that you haven't had your rightful share of prairie squid yet. He's gonna draft ya anyway. That's right, kids! Once the war is over and the occupation begins, Uncle Sugar is gonna need a lot more sniper-bait, more meat for the grinder, grist for the mill. Kids are gonna be expected to give their all, maybe even their lives, for their oil company...Oops, I mean their country. And guess who those lucky kids are? Well, if you are living in America, and you are between the ages of 18-30, that means YOU are those lucky kids! Actually, the draft age is 18-36, but the army likes 'em young. THAT'S why the Good Reverend is so political. These are dangerous times. While America seems strong, it is actually like a mighty oak tree that has been struck by lightning. It's still plenty strong on the outside, but the inside is dead. The fundamental strenght of America is Americans...and those are mighty thin on the ground right now. What we have instead is the Dittoheads...the Rush Limbaugh fans. We think you know who we're talking about, Mister CNN anchorperson, SIR! Miss "If there's a war, the stock market will go up", MA'AM! Mister "If you are against the war, you're un- American", SIR! Damn straight. These "good Americans" who are howling for war are NOT the people who are going to have to go fight it. or kill me
28 Why the hell should they? They have YOU for that, or at least for the occupation (which, incidentally will be headed by an interim government led by an American civilian, apparently). They will (supposedly) enjoy an economic boom caused by the war (although the economy went DOWN during Gulf War I) while you get your ass shot off in Basra, while you hold down the natives so that Standard Oil has time to suck all the Iraqi oil out of the ground. Sound like crazy talk? Yup, it is. So make sure you line your Kevlar helmet with tin-foil, so you don't have to think about these things while you scratch your sand-fleas and wonder where the next suicide bomber is coming from. Or kill me. or kill me
Page 1 and 2: OR KILL ME!! Heresies, Rants, Sermo
Page 3 and 4: 2 CONTENTS PART ONE: Sermons 3 PART
Page 5 and 6: 4 Rev Roger Sermon #1: A rant/sermo
Page 7 and 8: 6 Rev Roger Sermon 2: Attack of the
Page 9 and 10: 8 Rev Roger sermon #3 ...get yer ba
Page 11 and 12: 10 But what of those brains? When's
Page 13 and 14: 12 supervisor, I caught an intervie
Page 15 and 16: 14 boy)...and it ISN'T GOING TO! No
Page 17 and 18: 16 Now, the money grubbing b@stards
Page 19 and 20: 18 transition will be easier. Hell,
Page 21 and 22: 20 his frickin' Gestapo, the proble
Page 23 and 24: 22 this: If you get out of line, we
Page 25 and 26: 24 you are no longer afraid of mist
Page 27: 26 Rev Roger Sermon #11: Land of th
Page 31 and 32: 30 crazy-glueing the enter button (
Page 33 and 34: 32 that the battles of the 60s had
Page 35 and 36: 34 the descendants of slaves who ch
Page 37 and 38: 36 You could get on the internet an
Page 39 and 40: 38 Rev Roger Sermon#17 What have yo
Page 41 and 42: 40 legally) booger up the local ATF
Page 43 and 44: 42 Rev Roger Sermon #18: DOOM Origi
Page 45 and 46: 44 that the fun might ever come bac
Page 47 and 48: 46 Grayfaces do not know they are d
Page 49 and 50: 48 Rev Roger Sermon #21: Leeetttts
Page 51 and 52: 50 Rev Roger Sermon #22: The Machin
Page 53 and 54: 52 So if you wish to have a plutocr
Page 55 and 56: 54 With Zevon gone, the most I can
Page 57 and 58: 56 trying...There will be NO revolu
Page 59 and 60: 58 Sermon #25: THE FINAL WORD Origi
Page 61 and 62: 60 4. Do I feel that I have the rig
Page 63 and 64: 62 Rev Roger Special Bonus Sermon #
Page 65 and 66: 64 the bottle, drop the dugout, and
Page 67 and 68: 66 anymore...but your parents ARE.
Page 69 and 70: 68 People are dragged out of line i
Page 71 and 72: 70 most nations, I seriously doubt
Page 73 and 74: 72 All these things I have seen, an
Page 75 and 76: 74 Word Game" or "What are you eati
Page 77 and 78: 76 The Good Rev Roger Sermon #33: T
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78 That’s right, the television
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80 passers by with your message…a
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82 Sermon #34: Classified. φ or ki
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84 He really DOES laugh at the GOP
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86 Rev Roger: The Heresies, chapter
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88 6. Free Radicals: A Free Radical
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90 We are mutants. That's right, mu
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92 Heresies 3: Classified. Ξ or ki
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94 Eris is the goddess of DISCORD.
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96 4. Latent Discordians - Discordi
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98 PART Three Millions of Screaming
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100 By HAMZA HENDAWI, Associated Pr
Page 103 and 104:
102 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, p
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104 accomplishment. "See, Millie? T
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106 rednecks, Antabuse is a powerfu
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108 "What kind of pussy do you thin
Page 111 and 112:
Page 113 and 114:
Page 115 and 116:
114 "I think I have the answer to t
Page 117 and 118:
116 seem to be without sin, so you
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118 Image: A run-down doublewide tr
Page 121 and 122:
120 Jim said, "Well, watch your bac
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Page 125 and 126:
Page 127 and 128:
126 Now, Bowzer has always been an
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128 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, P
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130 I thought for a moment, and sai
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134 Cheryl slapped me, burst into t
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136 pitch black, and I couldn't see
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138 bastards off, and we can do it
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140 himself Jose. Listening in, I r
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142 To my relief, Amy was sleeping
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144 near Tombstone. Johnny Ringo wa
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146 "'Clubs', eh? Sounds a little..
Page 149 and 150:
148 Millions of Screaming Yahoos #1
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150 Seth and I had been the only tw
Page 153 and 154:
152 Instead of talking, I pondered
Page 155 and 156:
154 I was a little surprised, and a
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156 Seth answered it. After a short
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158 added with a giggle, "He's a wi
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160 her new home. The only sacred t
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162 "Excellent. Thanks, I'll go get
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164 BIG the interior of the truck's
Page 167 and 168:
166 Millions of Screaming Yahoos 19
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168 PART Four: ROGER’S Epistles o
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170 the left feels morally superior
Page 173 and 174:
172 Rev Roger, Epistle 2: Join the
Page 175 and 176:
174 Rev Roger Epistle#3: How do YOU
Page 177 and 178:
176 Rev Roger, Epistle #4: To the R
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178 Elite, and they get to have the
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180 wrong...we are congenital troub
Page 183 and 184:
182 PART FIVE: Life in the Age of D
Page 185 and 186:
184 Rick takes truly foolish chance
Page 187 and 188:
186 say AVERAGE, not MEDIAN. What t
Page 189 and 190:
188 Life in the Age of Dumb, part 3
Page 191 and 192:
190 Bad craziness...any fool can se
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192 shit through?" Rick just looked
Page 195 and 196:
194 "I thought we were overnighting
Page 197 and 198:
196 Life in the Age of Dumb, part 5
Page 199 and 200:
198 Life in the Age of Dumb, art 6:
Page 201 and 202:
200 heedless of The crumbling found
Page 203 and 204:
202 Sr was talking about when he sa
Page 205 and 206:
204 Rev Roger Rant #1: Roger Gets H
Page 207 and 208:
206 Rev Roger, Rant #2: Get Off Of
Page 209 and 210:
208 Rev Roger Rant #3: Why I killed
Page 211 and 212:
210 Or maybe not...maybe they'd jus
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212 Rev Roger, Rant#5: Eris isn't t
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214 Rev Roger, Rant 6: The End(tm)
Page 217 and 218:
216 "But what about Little Billy?",
Page 219 and 220:
218 another. He isn't REALLY mockin
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220 totally arbitrary decisions, ju
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222 Rev Roger Rant #10: Where the H
Page 225 and 226:
224 Who has the correct idea? Well,
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226 PMs (he can't, but he doesn't e
Page 229 and 230:
228 Rev Roger, Rant #14: What's My
Page 231 and 232:
230 Rev Roger, Rant 16: That's All
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232 world is - and will remain - a
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234 Goodbye, Pedro. Originally post
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236 - serious about having a good t
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238 Our police will protect you fro
Page 241 and 242:
240 The Gospel According to Roger B
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242 Transcript #32 WAKE UP! Huh? WA
Page 245 and 246:
244 Rev Roger's election rant #1: T
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246 Originally posted Jun 06, 2005
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248 10 more things I know are true:
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250 Lost in America, part 1. Origin
Page 253 and 254:
252 ...Back to mi casa, lock the do
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254 my associate here doesn't look
Page 257:
256 Lost in America #3: Lost ₪ or
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