OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

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105 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, part 3. Originally posted Apr 20, 2004 Crazy Steve called me tonight, just as I was ready to drop off to sleep. "Ya gotta come, Roger, Millie's in real trouble. She drank way too much, and I don't know what to do. She might DIE!" My heart filled with hate, but what could I do? Way out here, you have to look out for each other, even if you can't stand the sight of your neighbors. So, I grabbed my bag, put some epicac into it, and jumped on my ATV. When I walked into Crazy Steve's house (read: trailor), I heard moaning and retching from the bathroom, even over the sound of the tub's faucet, which was running full blast. This was, of course, a good sign. It implied that Millie was not only alive, but also that she wasn't too far gone to have a gag-reflex. The horror in the bathroom was beyond description...Millie was in a full tub, fully clothed (thank Gawd), with the water overflowing onto the floor. Crazy Steve was feeding her cheap gin, and holding a pill bottle. "What the FUCK are you doing, Steve?" "Never mind that, hold her head above the water while I feed her some more vitamins." I grabbed the pill bottle out of his hand, and read the label. "You vicious creep! These aren't vitamins! This is Antabuse!" (Note: for those of you who AREN'T surrounded by insane or kill me
106 rednecks, Antabuse is a powerful emetic, which is only triggered by alchohol. It is used by winos who know that they will die if they even LOOK at another drink. It causes uncontrolable retching and a sensation of dying in those who drink while using it.) "I know", Crazy Steve said, "but she has to learn her lesson." What could I do? I slapped Crazy Steve as hard as I could, John Wayne-style, about 5 times, and he fell backwards over the toilet. I tried to haul Millie out of the tub, but her bulk was too much to handle (even for my frame), so I drained the tub. I kicked Crazy Steve in the balls, and walked out of his trailer, bouncing the antabuse bottle in my hand. Stopping to look at the pill bottle, I tried to understand what had just occurred. What happened? What did it mean? I'm still pondering this, as I crush the antabuse into a bottle of Bourbon. Crazy Steve LOVES bourbon, and I feel that a bottle would be a wonderful way to apologize for kicking him in the balls. Or kill me. or kill me
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OR KILL ME!! Heresies, Rants, Sermo
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2 CONTENTS PART ONE: Sermons 3 PART
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4 Rev Roger Sermon #1: A rant/sermo
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6 Rev Roger Sermon 2: Attack of the
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8 Rev Roger sermon #3 ...get yer ba
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10 But what of those brains? When's
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12 supervisor, I caught an intervie
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14 boy)...and it ISN'T GOING TO! No
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16 Now, the money grubbing b@stards
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18 transition will be easier. Hell,
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20 his frickin' Gestapo, the proble
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22 this: If you get out of line, we
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24 you are no longer afraid of mist
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26 Rev Roger Sermon #11: Land of th
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28 Why the hell should they? They h
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30 crazy-glueing the enter button (
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32 that the battles of the 60s had
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34 the descendants of slaves who ch
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36 You could get on the internet an
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38 Rev Roger Sermon#17 What have yo
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40 legally) booger up the local ATF
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42 Rev Roger Sermon #18: DOOM Origi
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44 that the fun might ever come bac
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46 Grayfaces do not know they are d
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48 Rev Roger Sermon #21: Leeetttts
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50 Rev Roger Sermon #22: The Machin
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52 So if you wish to have a plutocr
Page 55 and 56: 54 With Zevon gone, the most I can
Page 57 and 58: 56 trying...There will be NO revolu
Page 59 and 60: 58 Sermon #25: THE FINAL WORD Origi
Page 61 and 62: 60 4. Do I feel that I have the rig
Page 63 and 64: 62 Rev Roger Special Bonus Sermon #
Page 65 and 66: 64 the bottle, drop the dugout, and
Page 67 and 68: 66 anymore...but your parents ARE.
Page 69 and 70: 68 People are dragged out of line i
Page 71 and 72: 70 most nations, I seriously doubt
Page 73 and 74: 72 All these things I have seen, an
Page 75 and 76: 74 Word Game" or "What are you eati
Page 77 and 78: 76 The Good Rev Roger Sermon #33: T
Page 79 and 80: 78 That’s right, the television
Page 81 and 82: 80 passers by with your message…a
Page 83 and 84: 82 Sermon #34: Classified. φ or ki
Page 85 and 86: 84 He really DOES laugh at the GOP
Page 87 and 88: 86 Rev Roger: The Heresies, chapter
Page 89 and 90: 88 6. Free Radicals: A Free Radical
Page 91 and 92: 90 We are mutants. That's right, mu
Page 93 and 94: 92 Heresies 3: Classified. Ξ or ki
Page 95 and 96: 94 Eris is the goddess of DISCORD.
Page 97 and 98: 96 4. Latent Discordians - Discordi
Page 99 and 100: 98 PART Three Millions of Screaming
Page 101 and 102: 100 By HAMZA HENDAWI, Associated Pr
Page 103 and 104: 102 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, p
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Page 109 and 110: 108 "What kind of pussy do you thin
Page 115 and 116: 114 "I think I have the answer to t
Page 117 and 118: 116 seem to be without sin, so you
Page 119 and 120: 118 Image: A run-down doublewide tr
Page 121 and 122: 120 Jim said, "Well, watch your bac
Page 127 and 128: 126 Now, Bowzer has always been an
Page 129 and 130: 128 Millions of Screaming Yahoos, P
Page 131 and 132: 130 I thought for a moment, and sai
Page 135 and 136: 134 Cheryl slapped me, burst into t
Page 137 and 138: 136 pitch black, and I couldn't see
Page 139 and 140: 138 bastards off, and we can do it
Page 141 and 142: 140 himself Jose. Listening in, I r
Page 143 and 144: 142 To my relief, Amy was sleeping
Page 145 and 146: 144 near Tombstone. Johnny Ringo wa
Page 147 and 148: 146 "'Clubs', eh? Sounds a little..
Page 149 and 150: 148 Millions of Screaming Yahoos #1
Page 151 and 152: 150 Seth and I had been the only tw
Page 153 and 154: 152 Instead of talking, I pondered
Page 155 and 156: 154 I was a little surprised, and a
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156 Seth answered it. After a short
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158 added with a giggle, "He's a wi
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160 her new home. The only sacred t
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162 "Excellent. Thanks, I'll go get
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164 BIG the interior of the truck's
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166 Millions of Screaming Yahoos 19
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168 PART Four: ROGER’S Epistles o
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170 the left feels morally superior
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172 Rev Roger, Epistle 2: Join the
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174 Rev Roger Epistle#3: How do YOU
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176 Rev Roger, Epistle #4: To the R
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178 Elite, and they get to have the
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180 wrong...we are congenital troub
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182 PART FIVE: Life in the Age of D
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184 Rick takes truly foolish chance
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186 say AVERAGE, not MEDIAN. What t
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188 Life in the Age of Dumb, part 3
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190 Bad craziness...any fool can se
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192 shit through?" Rick just looked
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194 "I thought we were overnighting
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196 Life in the Age of Dumb, part 5
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198 Life in the Age of Dumb, art 6:
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200 heedless of The crumbling found
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202 Sr was talking about when he sa
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204 Rev Roger Rant #1: Roger Gets H
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206 Rev Roger, Rant #2: Get Off Of
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208 Rev Roger Rant #3: Why I killed
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210 Or maybe not...maybe they'd jus
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212 Rev Roger, Rant#5: Eris isn't t
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214 Rev Roger, Rant 6: The End(tm)
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216 "But what about Little Billy?",
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218 another. He isn't REALLY mockin
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220 totally arbitrary decisions, ju
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222 Rev Roger Rant #10: Where the H
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224 Who has the correct idea? Well,
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226 PMs (he can't, but he doesn't e
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228 Rev Roger, Rant #14: What's My
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230 Rev Roger, Rant 16: That's All
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232 world is - and will remain - a
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234 Goodbye, Pedro. Originally post
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236 - serious about having a good t
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238 Our police will protect you fro
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240 The Gospel According to Roger B
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242 Transcript #32 WAKE UP! Huh? WA
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244 Rev Roger's election rant #1: T
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246 Originally posted Jun 06, 2005
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248 10 more things I know are true:
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250 Lost in America, part 1. Origin
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252 ...Back to mi casa, lock the do
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254 my associate here doesn't look
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256 Lost in America #3: Lost ₪ or
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OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

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