OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

122
Millions of Screaming Yahoos, part 8
Originally posted Jun 22, 2004
Henry, our company's second-shift janitor, was killed at work
today. He was struck by a forklift, and subsequently died of
heart failure. He was 74 years old.
Henry was an island of sophistication in a sea of redneck
swine. He was forced back out of retirement in 2001, after his
retirement stocks were wiped out when the bubble burst. We
spoke often, more often than not over a lunchtime chess game,
and Henry always said that he was glad to be back at work,
around younger folks...those his age, he said, were the walking
dead. In addition, most people his age didn't like him, on
account of Henry being Black. This is the state I live in.
Since, at the time of the accident, everyone was thinking of
everything BUT Henry, I'd like to tell you what I knew of him:
His formal education ended at 4th grade, but he could quote
Emerson, Thoreau, and Jefferson. He served in the Korean war
as a cook, and then took up Blues singing in New Orleans for a
while. From what he said, this was the happiest time of his life.
He met his wife there, and they stayed together until her death
(of cancer) in 1991. Whenever he spoke of his Evangeline, his
eyes got a little distant...I sincerely hope they are together now.
After he settled down with her, he took a job as a mechanic
until his retirement in 1995. He is survived by 5 children, and
countless grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Henry loved music, both the older stuff he grew up on, and
much of the music of today (he thought Outkast was the best
thing since Lord Buckley, humor-wise). He had a humorous
contempt for most Americans, with their "You're only as good
as your last day" bullshit. He came from a slower, more
or kill me