OR KILL ME!! - Principia Discordia

235
Pedro smiled at the man, whose face was going sheet white,
and said, "You want to watch what you say, you dumb gringo."
I grabbed Pedro and said, "Dude, we have to get the fuck out of
here." Pedro just looked at me, and laughed.
"Not until I win this game. I'm three balls up, and I have money
on this."
"Fine, dumbass. You go to jail. I'm going home."
I turned around, and walked to the front door, but was stopped
by a cop who grabbed me and hustled me out to the hood of his
car. I was frisked, and then stood there for a while while they
collected Pedro. I wound up sitting in one squadcar, and he in
another.
I took a few moments to holler over to Pedro, descibing in
detail his parentage and ancestry, and several creative
perversions his mother indulged in, until the cop that grabbed
me came back and uncuffed me. I had done nothing wrong, it
seemed, and was being released. Pedro, on the other hand, was
fucked. He was arrested for attempted murder (though even a
public defender could get that dropped to assault with a deadly
weapon). He won't be coming back anytime soon. Pedro isn't
the kind of guy that makes bail...or is even given the chance to.
Pedro was a sick fucker, the kind that can either make an
evening into a real party, or cut some poor dumb bastard's ear
off, for the crime of being stupid. He will not be missed in the
bars and bodegas, but he will be missed at Roger's place. Pedro
understood the Yahoo Nation, and his insights on the current
state of the republic were dead on, especially when he was half
in the bag.
So, goodbye, Pedro, you dumb spic. You were - if nothing else
or kill me