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Sacred Psychoanalysis - etheses Repository - University of ...

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I found AP to be a warm, responsive, curious, questioning man, who clearly had things to<br />

say and thought that he had a right to say them, unafraid <strong>of</strong> voicing his opinion and willing<br />

to reveal aspects <strong>of</strong> self. In some sense I felt a bond <strong>of</strong> trust was created in part because I<br />

don’t know what he has experienced at the hands <strong>of</strong> other interviewers. At least one <strong>of</strong> the<br />

published interviews had a heading that seemed more sensational than the content implied,<br />

so I felt it important to clarify how this interview material would be used.<br />

Unconscious encounter<br />

This interview featured three significant unconscious events. The first was my typing ‘fear’<br />

when AP said ‘feelings’ - ‘Anything that stirs your strongest feeling makes your life more<br />

interesting (AP 598-599). So my unconscious fears revolving around this research are:<br />

completing the work on time; something happening so I could not complete the work at all;<br />

and that I will not have something interesting, valuable, readable, enjoyable or illuminating<br />

to say, the way I perceive AP’s work to be. Yet more than this there is for me an<br />

unconscious fear in any encounter where I do not know the other person, a fear <strong>of</strong> exposure,<br />

failure, rejection, <strong>of</strong> being over whelmed, as well as <strong>of</strong> being liked and loved. However it is<br />

such encounters that enrich life, but each new relationship is always a risk.<br />

Secondly, while talking about my background including being cut out <strong>of</strong> my parent’s will –<br />

a bell began to toll in the background, followed by the sounding <strong>of</strong> a horn <strong>of</strong> a passing train.<br />

My father worked for British Rail his entire life and trains were a central part <strong>of</strong> childhood,<br />

as if to say that his presence is still alive and well in my unconscious despite any attempts to<br />

kill him or me <strong>of</strong>f. I was left feeling very surprised that I was talking so much about my<br />

personal autobiography – serving as a powerful reminder that qualitative interviewing is a<br />

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