JUDAICA - Wisdom In Torah

family, american jewish
carded, little remained to give their distinctiveness purpose
except sentimental leftovers fed by kitsch, Broadway shows,
and self-righteousness…This mix of ethnic remnants and
carbon-copy assimilation left such parents little to pass on”
(Rubin, 1995, pp. 93–94). The poignancy of this transformation
became more evident towards the end of the 1960s when
traditional notions about family life were confronted by the
popularization of values that were more liberal and individual
oriented. Many of the assumptions regarding what constitutes
a “sound and healthy” family were challenged. Questions
were raised about the structure and purpose of the family, as
well as the obligations of family members towards each other.
“Since 1970, or thereabouts,” says Cohen (1983, pp. 114–15) “the
American family has undergone such dramatic changes as to
spark a popular and scholarly debate about whether it is in
fact disintegrating.”
The mythic portrayal of the American family is prevalent
in the way Jewish institutions are structured. The family
is defined as two parents and children. A fixed division of
labor is presumed and children are seen as the focus of the
family. Membership costs are often defined by family. Synagogue
membership is usually stated in family units. Meeting
are scheduled as if the family defined above is the norm;
so too, programming and fees. These institutions have been
slow to change even as women have become officers, major
donors and decision makers. It is as if the sisterhood continued
to serve Friday evening tea at the Oneg Shabbat even
though the rabbi, cantor, president and principal supporters
may now be women.
Rela Mintz Geffen reports that according to the 1990
National Jewish Population Survey the most common household
in the Jewish community comprises one adult Jew living
alone; the next most common is two adults Jews; and only
then two adult Jews with at least one child under the age of
18 living at home. Only 14% of Jewish households in the survey
were comprised of two Jewish adults and with at least one
child under 18 living at home. In contemporary parlance, the
“conventional Jewish family” is two Jews, one male, one female
– whether born Jewish or not – with one child under the
age of 18 living at home.
Contemporary Jews live not only in the traditional family
but also as singles of all ages; empty nest couples whose children
have left home and will not again return; senior adults
living alone or in communities and facilities, widowed or married;
dual-career spouses; single parents, whether by death of
one’s spouse, loss or divorce; and non-traditional couples, gay
men and lesbian women. These people, constituting a majority
of all Jews, often feel unacknowledged by contemporary
American Jewish institutions. Programming and normative
language of the community often excludes them and many respond
accordingly. There may be an asymmetry between the
definition of family embodied in community institutions and
the actual configuration of the way Jews in America live.
“For American Jews,” says Fishman (1994), “as for other
Americans today, there is no one model of ‘the family.’ Jewish
families reflect, in somewhat less extreme profile, an America
in which less than 15 percent of households conform to
the model of father, mother-at-home, and children living
together…[Thus t]he ‘typical’ American Jewish household
today is more likely than not to be atypical in some way. Proportions
of older, single, divorced, remarried, or dual-career
households make up more of the Jewish population than intact
young families with children” (pp. 5, 33). As a result of these
changes, social scientists no longer study American families,
per se; instead, surveys are conducted among “households,”
such as in the Council of Jewish Federations (CJF) 1990 National
Jewish Population Survey (p. 33). The term “household”
accommodates a more flexible and wider range of domestic
living arrangements than those associated with the conventional
western family.
Trends which first emerged some 25–30 years ago continue
to have an impact upon Jewish family life. These include:
a decrease in the rate of marriage; the postponement
of first time marriage; an increase in the number of marriages
that end in divorce; an increase in the rate of intermarriage,
particularly non-conversionary marriages; a decrease in the
birth rate to a level lower than replacement; an increase in
geographic mobility; an increase in cohabitation, and single
motherhood; and an increase in substance abuse. Some have
argued that there is an increase in domestic violence and in
homosexuality but they may be mistaken. It is certainly the
case that there is an increase in acknowledgement of domestic
violence and or homosexuality. It was commonplace to link
these phenomena with a decrease in Jewish education and the
practice of Jewish ritual, but the evidence is mixed. The number
of children receiving a day school education is at all-time
high and the measurement of Jewish ritual observance does
not necessarily indicate a decline. There is no doubt that Jewish
values must compete in the open marketplace of ideas in
a multicultural United States, where exposure to other value
systems is commonplace.
Fishman (ibid.) examines a number of these trends by
comparing data from the 1970 National Jewish Population
Study (NJPS) and the CJF 1990 National Jewish Population
Study with data drawn throughout the 1980s from some two
dozen Jewish communities. Regarding marriage, her analysis
indicates that while in 1970 nearly four-fifths of all adult American
Jews were married, by 1990 this figure had decreased to
about two-thirds. A parallel decrease was recorded for all
adults in the United States. Over the last 30 years being single
in America has developed into a lifestyle. Whereas in 1970–1
17 percent of Jewish men were still single at ages 25–34, this
figure increased to about 50 percent in 1990. An even greater
increase applies to Jewish women ages 25–34; only 10 percent
of this group was not married in 1970–1, in comparison to
about half in 1990. By age 45, however, over 90 percent of all
Jews are reported to have been married at least one time.
“The delay or avoidance of marriage is but one of
many factors which may lower Jewish birthrates” (Cohen,
1983, p. 117). Still, another factor is higher education; the more
702 ENCYCLOPAEDIA JUDAICA, Second Edition, Volume 6