Grammatically Correct: The writer's essential guide to punctuation ...

STYLE
behind altering them can be described as follows: During the act of
taking in information, readers form instantaneous, almost subconscious
impressions and expectations, and if anything comes along
that seems less than completely congruous with these expectations,
they may find it necessary to pause momentarily and make some
nlental readjustments. If a writer can anticipate these expectations
and ensure that they are met, readers will always be on top of the
intended meaning.
EXAMPLE 1
It would be expensive and time-consuming to survey the entire
population. What you want to do is to select a smaller, representative
group (a sample). You use the data derived from this group to make
generalizations about the whole.
Sentence 3 names the purpose of the advice given in sentence
2. This connection would come through more strongly if the two
were combined.
BETTER: It would be expensive and time-consuming to survey the entire
population. What you want to do is to select a smaller, representative
group (a sample), and use the data derived from this group to make
generalizations about the whole.
EXAMPLE2
There are several steps you should follow when preparing a publication
proposal. Basically, a proposal should contain a few paragraphs describing
your goals for the book. A table of contents is helpful. Attach some
completed chapters as a sample of your writing. The proposal should
include a brief description of yourself, stating your experience and why
you are qualified to write this particular book. The publisher may send
copies of the proposal to experts in the field for peer review. Thus, it
often takes a few months before you can expect to hear whether your
proposal has been accepted.
This paragraph contains two subtopics: what a proposal should
contain and what happens after you submit it. The bulk of the
information is on the first subtopic. However, since each point begins
a new sentence, it's a bit difficult to recognize where this subtopic
ends and the next one begins. Combining similar information into
one sentence would make the subtopics easier to distinguish.
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