Min tibetanska barndom i Zorgay - Life and Culture on the Tibetan ...

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MOTHER'S UNFAIR LIFE
B
irth means death will come. The most difficult time in
my life was Mother's unfair life, her illness, <strong>and</strong> death. I
felt pitiful <strong>and</strong> sad, losing Mother's care when I needed
it most. My destiny had been arranged by my deeds in a
previous life. Gr<strong>and</strong>mother told me about getting one's
comeuppance from a former life <strong>and</strong> said that what I suffered in
this life was the result of wrongdoing in my previous lives. This
was retribution <strong>and</strong> it made life difficult. I wondered what I had
done wrong for this to happen to me.
Rearing six children was a heavy burden for Mother
because we were all young at the same time. She worked
constantly to make life better for us. She wore old, ragged,
patched clothing, <strong>and</strong> ate tsampa without putting butter in it, to
save it for us. No one helped her do farm work <strong>and</strong> she went out
to dig medicinal herbs with Father to earn money, while
Gr<strong>and</strong>mother cared for us during the daytime. Mother did twice
the work of other women. She once said, "My hard work is for
you dear children. My hope is to give you splendid lives before
I leave you." I did not underst<strong>and</strong> the meaning of 'before I leave
you' at that time.
Time passed quietly <strong>and</strong> quickly, <strong>and</strong> everybody
admired Mother. When my brothers <strong>and</strong> sisters got old enough
to help her, people said she should rest <strong>and</strong> enjoy life, for the
children were now old enough to work for themselves <strong>and</strong> make
their parents comfortable. Instead, Mother got terribly sick,
though she said she had only a stomachache. Her sickness came
suddenly like lightning <strong>and</strong> caused horrible, unbearable thunder
in my childhood life, leading to a rain of tears.
My family was the first in the village to buy a tractor. A
relative visited one day <strong>and</strong> asked to borrow the tractor to haul
stones from the local township town to his home for the
foundation of his house-enclosing wall. Father could not refuse.
A woman compelled my relative to let her climb in the tractortrailer
on the way back home. The road was bumpy, she fell out,
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