Min tibetanska barndom i Zorgay - Life and Culture on the Tibetan ...

Mother's funeral was during the time of a solar eclipse.
Local people say that the halo of an eclipse once swallowed
almost half the sun, <strong>and</strong> then Bodhisattva Vajrapani threw his
vajra-thunderbolt at the halo, piercing a hole in it <strong>and</strong> it then
could not swallow the sun. The terrified sun then emerged from
the hole. For this reason we chant mani during solar eclipses to
help the sun not to be frightened.
Father was pleased with the convergence of Mother's
funeral <strong>and</strong> the solar eclipse for all the locals would chant mani
for the sun, which would also benefit Mother. However, this
gave me little solace. I cried <strong>and</strong> cried at Mother's funeral,
though the tears did not ease my pain.
I cannot erase the memory of my hopeless, broken
family at that time. My wounded heart was in pain. I pretended
to be happy among people but grieved deep in my heart. I
sincerely hoped Mother's spirit would fly to Heaven <strong>and</strong> have a
marvelous reincarnation. I knew little about religion, but
believed Buddha would hear my family's pious prayers <strong>and</strong>
surely sympathize with a mother who had passed away so
young <strong>and</strong> who had so greatly suffered. Yet, Mother left us in
terrible pain <strong>and</strong> I wondered if there was a real Buddha. We
truly believe that he is omniscient <strong>and</strong> knows every good <strong>and</strong>
bad thing people do. He should have known Mother deserved to
die peacefully, but reality was just the opposite.
Death so miserably devastated my childhood happiness.
The author's home shrine.
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