Min tibetanska barndom i Zorgay - Life and Culture on the Tibetan ...

One day Monk Wodzer was not in the hospital. There
were no other doctors there for Father to consult so he went to
another lama. Who would have imagined that this would cause
problems? After Monk Wodzer heard of Father visiting another
lama, he no longer came to check Mother every morning <strong>and</strong>
did not talk to us. Father was baffled <strong>and</strong> asked one morning,
"Ahke, 17 what shall I do now? She doesn't seem to be getting
better. She looks thinner every day."
"Don't ask me. I don't know. Please ask the lama you
visited several days ago. He may know more than I," responded
Monk Wodzer, which so disappointed Father that he left
quietly.
•••
The autumn trees shed their leaves, which blew through our
village, tossed by strong wind. A fog of dust was in the sky
every day. This put me in a bad mood. Father had told me that if
Mother was getting better, then we would see it at the beginning
of fall, at the same time the plants changed color. There was no
improvement. Mother's skin was so pale it seemed no blood
flowed in her veins.
Mother searched for lice in my hair one day <strong>and</strong> said,
"I'm now like a dried, floating leaf <strong>and</strong> will either fall or stick to
a branch. This is not under my control. A strong wind will
surely blow me to a strange place. The tree still has roots to
grow next year, but the leaves are gone. Your father, siblings,
<strong>and</strong> you are the tree. I am the leaves. You should all try to grow
new leaves once I am blown away."
Mother was actually telling me she had only a short time
to be with me, <strong>and</strong> encouraged me to be brave among those I
would face in life. Stupidly, I did not realize what she was
saying. I returned from school one day <strong>and</strong> saw Mother's hair
had been cut as short as that of a four-year-old girl. Amused by
this new hairstyle, I said, "Mother, you look more beautiful <strong>and</strong>
younger today. Why didn't you have your hair cut earlier?"
No one said anything. Mother laughed <strong>and</strong> said,
"Kondro, getting a haircut was not what your mother wanted,
but it makes it easier to take care of my hair."
17 An honorific term for 'monk'.
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