Managing Sticky Situations at Work

Sticky Situations with Subordinates 81from an orientation of the Three C’s—change, compassion, andcuriosity—managers with high EQ scores excel as disciplinarians.FACTORS INHERENT IN ANY DISCIPLINARY CONVERSATIONState Behaviors That Must Change. When we specify behaviors inthe SIJR Conversation, we identify the behaviors in a way that clearlycommunicates what we are talking about.Example: ‘‘Sheila, you are turning in your quarterly reports later andlater. We did not receive this period’s report until two days after thefinal deadline. I cannot turn in the entire team’s numbers until I getyour data. It’s embarrassing to me when every quarter ours is the lastreport submitted. I must have your report by the fifteenth of themonth and no later.’’This example provides Sheila with information about what behaviorher boss expects as well as what problems her behavior caused upthe line.Keep the Other Person in Mind. Stone et al., in Difficult Conversations:How to Discuss What Matter’s Most, talk about telling yourstory as well as listening to the other person’s story. In a disciplinaryconversation, we open our minds to the possibility of what the authorsrefer to as the third story. 5 Your organization may have rules that mayno longer prove productive. When you allow employees to share theirfrustrations, you open up the possibility to the existence of administrativebarriers that block productivity.Select the Right Time and Place. We all remember our dread whenour teachers sent us to the principal’s office. As children, we recognizedthe principal’s office as a place of power where we did notbelong. Before delivering the bad news, think about the place andthe time. Find a place that feels safe to the other person. If you workin the world of cubicles, go to one of the conference rooms.Be careful not to share bad news when the person is experiencing apersonal crisis or about to give an important presentation. Select atimethatwillenableyoutohaveanopendialogue.Ifthetimeyouselect adds pressure, the dialogue will shut down.Stress Positive Consequences. Often when dealing with performanceissues, we think only in the negative. Our challenge is to comeup with positive consequences. The behavioral psychologists tell usthat mice respond to shocks, but they also tell us mice respond to bitsof food. Positive consequences create a willingness to change.