Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Situations with Co-Workers 53recommendations. If she goes to the boss with the support of theother buyers and explains what happened, he may recognize Patricia’sduplicity. Laura feels she can secure help from the other buyers. SurelyLaura isn’t the first person Patricia stabbed in the back.PERSONALITY OVERLAYWhat is Patricia’s personality style? She’s not a person with compassionnor does she demonstrate the ability to listen. She is a loner.These characteristics rule out Sympathetic and Expressive. She’sextremely competitive. Her competitiveness overshadows everythingelse, including friendships and relationships. Patricia aims to win atall costs. She is also meticulous and careful. Because of her high levelof competitiveness and her ability to charm others, Patricia is likely aBold with strong Technical tendencies. The Technical in her stopsher from dealing with situations head on which a classic Bold mightdo. She prefers an indirect or passive-aggressive approach which typifiesback stabbers.Laura, on the other hand, prefers the direct approach. Laura trustedPatricia even though she saw that others in the office did not. She gaveher the benefit of the doubt. Laura wants to be liked by everyone,including Patricia. Laura demonstrates Expressive tendencies withSympathetic characteristics. Going into the SIJR Conversation understandingPatricia’s high need to win and her Bold/Technical stylegives Laura a slight edge.SAY IT JUST RIGHT CONVERSATIONLaura decides not to join the other buyers when asked to lunch.Instead, she seeks out Patricia, whom she finds eating alone in thebreak room.Patricia looks up from a magazine and gazes at Laura with raisedeyebrows. Laura pulls out a chair across from Patricia and unwraps asandwich.‘‘I thought everyone was gone,’’ Patricia says.‘‘I decided to stay here because I want to have a word with you.’’Laura watches Patricia who moves her chair slightly back.Patricia shrugs. ‘‘So?’’Laura looks directly at Patricia. ‘‘I was shocked and surprised when Iheard that you won the trip to Paris. When I learned how you won thetrip, I was angry.’’ (Joins feelings with fact.)
54 Managing Sticky Situations at Work‘‘What are you talking about? I won it fair and square. You couldn’tcome through with the CW account that I handed over to you.’’‘‘Patricia, no one can hear us. We’re alone. You don’t have to pretendin front of me. I know you took my leads and presented my workto CW as if it were yours. What confounds me is why you gave me theaccount in the first place?’’ (Specifies the problem and invites Patriciato talk.)Patricia gets up. ‘‘I don’t have to explain anything to you.’’Laura continues to watch her. ‘‘Listen, Patricia, no one in the officelikes you. You’ve betrayed everyone just like you have me in one wayor another. The only person ignorant of your games is Mr. Jamison.I suspect he might listen, however, if more than one of us goes tohim to lodge complaints against you. I hope it won’t have to cometo that.’’ (States negative consequences based on power sources.)‘‘If you’re threatening me, forget it. You don’t have a leg to standon. I’m the number one buyer here, and that’s a fact no one candeny.’’In a softer voice, Laura says, ‘‘I’m not denying that you’re good. Infact, I wanted to learn from you. I recognize in you the ability to findjust the right thing for every client. In that you are amazing. I am curious,though, what is it that causes you to push everyone away, evensomeone like me who respected you?’’ (Recognizes her talent andreinvites her to talk.)Patricia looks away. ‘‘I don’t really mean to. I wanted you to win thetrip at first. I really did. But, when I saw those proposals you had forCW, I realized they’d never want to work with me again. You’d sewup the deal and be their first-choice buyer. I guess I didn’t want to losethem as a client.’’‘‘Sounds as if you are frightened I’m going to steal the accountsyou’ve worked years to cultivate. Why would I want to do that? I canbuild my own reputation with clients based on my knowledgeand experience. In fact, Patricia, I’m not interested in competingwith you. I just wanted to learn from you and do a good enough jobto have an opportunity to go to Paris. That’s all. I don’t want yourjob or to do anything that would jeopardize your job.’’ (Showscompassion.)Patricia sits back down. She offers one of her brownies to Laura.‘‘Are you going to go to Mr. Jamison?’’Laura takes the brownie. ‘‘I will if I have to. But, what I’d rather dois figure out a way for us to work together and not kill one another.
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
Page 22 and 23: The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
Page 36 and 37: Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
Page 38 and 39: Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
Page 40 and 41: Personality Overlay 21energy seems
Page 42 and 43: Larry is clearly a Technical person
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Page 46: Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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Page 100 and 101: Sticky Situations with Subordinates
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Sticky Situations in Meetings 103to
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Chapter 8Sticky Romantic Situations
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Sticky Romantic Situations in the O
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Chapter 10Sticky Etiquette Situatio
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202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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