Managing Sticky Situations at Work

30 Managing Sticky Situations at Workusing ‘‘I’’ messages versus ‘‘You’’ messages. Or, concentrate on beingcurious.• Look for positive qualities in the Difficult Person. Perhaps that personexcels at details; perhaps he or she handles crises well. Capitalize onthese qualities when you deal with the Difficult Person. Remember onecomponent of the SIJR Model is compassion.• Learn to cope with your own emotions. Difficult People drain youremotions. Give yourself opportunities to let emotions out. Try exercise,meditation, or fun activities with friends. Do not dump on your lovedones day after day. Search for other means to vent your frustrations.• Learn to handle your own problems. The less interaction with theDifficult Person the better for all concerned.When researching this book, I heard countless people describe theirdifficult bosses as sociopaths. I heard words like crazy, sick, mentallyunstable. When you put this kind of label on someone, you give yourselfpermission to toss in the towel. How could you possibly deal witha crazy sociopath? The fault for everything that’s gone wrong lies withyour boss, right? Perhaps the boss is not as mentally imbalanced as youthink. Perhaps you just did not say it just right.ARE YOU A DIFFICULT PERSON?Read each statement and rate it as truthfully as you can. Does the statementsound like something you’d say or do?1. I can’t wait to finish conversations with other people.Less True 1 2 3 4 5 More True2. My staff tells me I’m a very demanding leader.Less True 1 2 3 4 5 More True3. No one has ever told me how great it was to work for me.Less True 1 2 3 4 5 More True4. When people tell me nice things, I know they want something.Less True 1 2 3 4 5 More True5. Most people don’t care about anything but doing as little as theycan to get by.Less True 1 2 3 4 5 More True6. I never bother my boss with little things. Why should otherscome to me when they can’t do their jobs?Less True 1 2 3 4 5 More True