Managing Sticky Situations at Work

The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model 15data to show you that indicate how valuable our product will be toyour company. I predict quick results. But, I must tell you I amuncomfortable meeting outside the office. I’m curious to know, fromyour viewpoint, how do you want us to work together?’’ (He specifiedthe problem, invited her to talk, and joined feelings withfact.)Sandra taps her desk with her finger. ‘‘I’m not sure I understandwhat you mean.’’‘‘I’m talking about the meeting last night over dinner. That kind ofout-of-office meeting troubles me, and I’m wondering how you felt.’’(He is showing curiosity and compassion and not asking her tochange.)Sandra smiles. ‘‘Obviously you’ve never worked with a familyownedcompany. In our business everyone is family. We talk aboutembracing our employees and customers. I’ve always maintained avery warm office environment.’’Roger uncrosses his legs and shifts forward. ‘‘You’re right. I haven’tworked for a company that’s as chummy as you describe. Most arepretty stiff. I guess my style is pretty stiff, too. After all, I’m a techie.’’Sandra laughs and he does, too. ‘‘How can we deal with this issue? Iwant to be responsive to you, but it’s hard for me when I feel uncomfortable.’’(He is asking for her ideas to resolve the issue.)Sandra says, ‘‘I realize that our company culture might be a little offputtingto some people. I really like what your product can do for usand am willing to explore what we can work out.’’ She sighs. ‘‘ Let’ssee. Why don’t we meet for coffee once a month? Is a coffee meetingtoo intimate for you?’’Roger responds: ‘‘That sounds great. I’ll try to be more relaxed andmaybe as I get used to your style, it will be easier. But, evening meetingsare just not going to work for me.’’ (The resolution soundsgood to him and he restates his limits.)Sandra: ‘‘I get it. No worries.’’They set a time for their next morning meeting.Roger shakes Sandra’s hand before leaving. ‘‘I’m glad we talkedabout this. I want our business relationship to flourish, and I don’t wantany misunderstandings.’’ (He ends with positive consequences.)In this chapter we’ve laid the foundation for the SIJR Model. Weexamined the Three C’s (change, compassion, and curiosity) and theDecision Points (costs, limits, and power). We also introduced theSIJR Conversation. Before we look at other sticky situations in which