Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Situations with Subordinates 95Join Feelings with Facts. Robert revealed his feelings of exhaustionand sadness. He linked those feelings with the facts throughout theconversation. When Sam tried to force him to keep going, Robertcame back with feelings. These feelings strengthened his decision tosell the bar. In one instance Robert said he wished he could keep theplace going, and he regretted bringing Sam into the business. Boththese statements of feeling demonstrated to Sam Robert’s extremesense of loss. Being a Sympathetic, it was easy for Robert to talk abouthis feelings in a genuine manner.Resolve the Issue. Once Sam clearly heard Robert and was ready tolook at options, they both discussed the future. In accordance withHarkins’s model, Robert offered to help Sam launch a new business.Reminding Sam of the money that will come back to him when thebar is sold helped Sam see this was not the end of the world. WhenSam began to think about possibilities himself, Robert knew Samheard him and was ready to move forward.CONCLUSIONIn this chapter we looked at sticky situations with subordinates. Weexamined those situations in light of disciplinary conversations andconversations where leaders must deliver bad information. Weselected two particularly difficult examples: the first with the boss’sdaughter and the second with a close relative. Whether or not youare dealing with relatives of your superiors or with people with whomyou are close, if you carefully go through the processes we’ve shared,you can say it just right. As you manage and lead more people in yourcareer, you will take more risks and find yourself face-to-face withmany kinds of situations—employees who lie, employees who steal,having to fire people, and giving negative information to your boss,to name a few. You can conduct successful conversations if youapproach each of these situations using the SIJR Model. Nonetheless,your skill as a leader will be tested each time.In Chapters 3 through 6 of the book, we dealt with sticky situationsinvolving a sector of people, bosses, co-workers, customers, and subordinates.The remaining chapters explore sticky situations that are situationalin nature. Chapter 7 looks at sticky situations in meetings orin team settings where we must apply the SIJR Model in light of groupdynamics.
96 Managing Sticky Situations at WorkNOTES1. See www.gallup.com.2. Brad Gilbreath and Philip Benson, ‘‘The Contribution of SupervisorBehavior to Employee Psychological Well-Being,’’ Work & Stress 18, no. 3(2004): 255–66.3. Daniel Goleman, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee, Primal Leadership:Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence (Boston: Harvard BusinessSchool Press, 2002).4. The Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out ofthe Box (San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2000).5. Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, Difficult Conversations:How to Discuss What Matters Most (New York: Penguin Books, 1999).6. Ibid., 61.7. Phil Harkins, Powerful Conversations: How High Impact Leaders Communicate(New York: McGraw Hill, 1999), 75.8. Ibid., 77.
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
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Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Larry is clearly a Technical person
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Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
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Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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Chapter 10Sticky Etiquette Situatio
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202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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