Managing Sticky Situations at Work

More documents

Recommendations

Info

Her intent with this question was not to invite the other to talk, but toshare her frustration.Join Feeling with Fact. Adelaide told Ricky that she valued theirfriendship. She made it clear, however, that she could not continueto have lunch with him if she had to pay for both lunches. She showedappreciation for his willingness to pay for her lunch today, but she didnot want him to do that as a martyr. Her willingness to begin with aclean slate opened the door for a resolution that Ricky could participatein.Resolve the Issue. Because Ricky tends to take advantage of people,he will probably cross the line again. Adelaide must prepare herself forthat eventuality. They agreed for him to pay for her lunch today butfrom now on they’d go Dutch. In the future if Ricky has a crisis (nowallet or no credit cards), Adelaide will likely have to confront himagain.As far as etiquette is concerned, when two colleagues eat lunchtogether, they split the bill. If you take your subordinate or a clientto lunch, you pay.STICKY SITUATION #23:TRAVELING WITH YOUR BOSSSticky Etiquette Situations 169Louisa works as an associate professor of history at a major university.Her dean, Dr. Marshall, invited her to attend anational conference in Texas to deliver a paper with him. Louisais excited about the opportunity to go to this conference. She andDr. Marshall have worked hard to prepare the material for thepresentation. Recently, she learned that she and Dr. Marshallwould travel to Texas together. They will stay in the same hoteland share taxis to get around the city. In all likelihood they willeat most of their meals together. Dr. Marshall knows other peopleat the conference, but Louisa knows no one except Dr. Marshall.She worries that she will seem a burden to her dean. She thinkshe will feel obligated to introduce her to anyone they meet andwill not wish to leave her on her own. She also worries about howshe will handle certain expenses. Who, for example, pays for thetaxi or tips the driver? Who pays for the meals? Although thedepartment pays for the major expenses, it does not cover drinksor other incidentals. Just because Dr. Marshall is a man and isthe dean, is he required to pay for everything?
170 Managing Sticky Situations at WorkAPPLYING THE SAY IT JUST RIGHT MODELDECISION POINTSLouisa weighs the costs. Louisa wants to impress Dr. Marshall withher independence. She’s been to conferences alone and met manynew, interesting people. The last thing she wants is for Dr. Marshallto wish he’d never included her in this conference. If the presentationgoes well, they might have opportunities to travel to other universitiesto talk about their research. She wants Dr. Marshall to see her as anasset and not a liability. If she talks to him ahead of time about howto handle miscellaneous expenses, he may consider her foolish ornaïve. If she does not talk to him, they won’t have a clear understanding,and that may produce some awkward moments.Louisa sets limits. Louisa decides that she will talk to Dr. Marshalland tell him she does not expect him to include her when he’s interactingwith his colleagues. She will also tell him she’d like to setsome parameters about expenses before they go in order to avoidmisunderstandings.Louisa examines the power sources. All the obvious power lieswith Dr. Marshall. Louisa knows that if she does not assert herself withDr. Marshall, she’ll appear powerless. But if she does so beforehand,she can establish limits and enable both of them to have a much moreproductive trip.PERSONALITY OVERLAYWe don’t know a lot about Dr. Marshall’s personality. Because heinvited Louisa to join him and because he seems open to working withher, we might assume he is neither a Bold nor an Expressive personality.Bolds and Expressives are hard to pin down to work on a project.Expressives might invite others to join them at the conference, butthey’d prefer to take center stage during the presentation, rather thanallow the other person to present jointly as it sounds Dr. Marshall hasdone. He may, therefore, be a Sympathetic or a Technical. Lisa canobserve Dr. Marshall’s behaviors to determine which.For example, if Louisa mentions her concerns to Dr. Marshall, andhe tells her how it was done in the past with little opportunity for discussion,she knows he is probably a Technical. Most Technicals payattention to the matters that worry Louisa. They want to make certainthat each person pays his or her own way, and no one gets a ‘‘free’’ride. If, on the other hand, Dr. Marshall responds with genuine
Page 2:
Managing StickySituations at WorkCo
Page 6 and 7:
Managing StickySituations at WorkCo
Page 8:
ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
Page 12:
AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
Page 15 and 16:
xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
Page 17 and 18:
xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
Page 20 and 21:
Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
Page 22 and 23:
The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
Page 24 and 25:
Page 26 and 27:
Page 28 and 29:
Page 30 and 31:
Page 32 and 33:
Page 34 and 35:
Page 36 and 37:
Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
Page 38 and 39:
Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
Page 40 and 41:
Personality Overlay 21energy seems
Page 42 and 43:
Larry is clearly a Technical person
Page 44 and 45:
Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
Page 46:
Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
Page 49 and 50:
30 Managing Sticky Situations at Wo
Page 51 and 52:
Page 53 and 54:
Page 55 and 56:
Page 57 and 58:
Page 59 and 60:
Page 61 and 62:
Page 63 and 64:
Page 65 and 66:
Page 67 and 68:
Page 69 and 70:
Page 71 and 72:
Page 73 and 74:
Page 75 and 76:
Page 77 and 78:
Page 79 and 80:
Page 82 and 83:
Chapter 5Sticky Situations with Cli
Page 84 and 85:
Sticky Situations with Clients 65Un
Page 86 and 87:
Sticky Situations with Clients 67
Page 88 and 89:
Sticky Situations with Clients 69ve
Page 90 and 91:
Sticky Situations with Clients 71
Page 92 and 93:
‘‘I’m glad to hear that. I wa
Page 94 and 95:
Sticky Situations with Clients 75fr
Page 96 and 97:
Sticky Situations with Clients 77AN
Page 98 and 99:
Chapter 6Sticky Situations with Sub
Page 100 and 101:
Sticky Situations with Subordinates
Page 102 and 103:
Page 104 and 105:
Page 106 and 107:
Page 108 and 109:
Page 110 and 111:
Page 112 and 113:
Page 114 and 115:
Page 116 and 117:
Chapter 7Sticky Situations in Meeti
Page 118 and 119:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 99you
Page 120 and 121:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 101
Page 122 and 123:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 103to
Page 124 and 125:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 105me
Page 126 and 127:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 107SA
Page 128 and 129:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 109wa
Page 130 and 131:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 111SA
Page 132 and 133:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 113ac
Page 134 and 135:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 115Al
Page 136 and 137:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 117wh
Page 138 and 139: Chapter 8Sticky Romantic Situations
Page 140 and 141: Sticky Romantic Situations in the O
Page 158: Sticky Romantic Situations in the O
Page 161 and 162: 142 Managing Sticky Situations at W
Page 176 and 177: Chapter 10Sticky Etiquette Situatio
Page 178 and 179: Sticky Etiquette Situations 159not
Page 180 and 181: Sticky Etiquette Situations 161‘
Page 182 and 183: Sticky Etiquette Situations 163she
Page 184 and 185: Sticky Etiquette Situations 165Rita
Page 186 and 187: Sticky Etiquette Situations 167mone
Page 190 and 191: Sticky Etiquette Situations 171inte
Page 192: Sticky Etiquette Situations 173it i
Page 221 and 222: 202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
Page 223 and 224: 204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
Page 225 and 226: 206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
Page 228 and 229: IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
Page 230 and 231: Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
Page 232: Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
show all

Managing Sticky Situations at Work

Create successful ePaper yourself

Delete template?

Save as template?