Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 101.See also Stages of TeamDevelopmentapology, 56Arbinger Institute, 80assessments, 191;360 assessments192, 205Asserting Yourself: A PracticalGuide for Positive Change(Bower and Bower), 5;assertiveness defined, 5Bay of Pigs, 100behavior-based interview, 142,143, 147. See also strategic interviewBEST, 191. See also My BESTProfile, names of personalitystylesBixler, Susan, 119, 120, 157Bold personality: case analysis, 35,39, 43–44, 56, 105, 116, 129,131, 138, 163, 164, 168, 183;characteristics of, 19, 33, 38, 42,48, 53, 58, 65, 69, 75, 91, 110,114, 126, 127, 135, 146, 100,166, 167, 170, 180; leaders,117, 180; meetings, 19, 105;teens, 195Book Yourself Solid (Port), 63–74Bower, Gordon, 5–6Bower, Sharon Anthony, 5–6Brewer, James, 18, 191cell phones, 13; appropriate use,178Change: case analysis, 14, 15, 26,35, 43–44, 55, 60, 87, 129, 160,168, 188, 198; with Three C’s,xiii, 5, 15, 17, 27, 45, 81–82,192clients, unique nature, 63coaching, 6communication, 1–2; choosing theright kind, 176; defined, 1–2;e-communication, 176, 177–78;I versus You, 12, 30; nonverbaland verbal, 2, 3–4, 5, 13, 56, 57,58, 114, 176; verbal, 3, 13; visual,3, 13; vocal, 3, 13Compassion: case analysis, 8, 11,15, 26, 30, 35, 54, 56, 60, 70,87, 94–95, 126, 153–54, 163,189, 198–99; firing a client, 72;
210 Indextell someone something theydon’t want to hear, 88; withdiscipline, 80; with emotionalquotient (EQ), 79–80; withSympathetic, 21–22, 33, 43–44,48, 53, 69, 166; with Three C’s,xiii, 5–6, 15, 27, 81, 192confident communicator, xii, xiii,2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 9, 11, 45;confidence, xi, xii, 8, 9, 152conflict, xii, 100; personalityconflict, 29consequences, 5, 14, 15, 25, 27,44, 54, 70, 71, 72, 76, 77, 81–82, 86, 87, 88, 106, 129, 163,198co-workers, unique nature, 45–46Crowley, Katherine, xii, 17, 18Curiosity, 6, 8, 11, 13, 199; caseanalysis, 15, 24, 26, 35, 39, 43–44, 87, 116, 148, 154–54, 163,189, 193, 198–99; firing a client,72; with the Three C’s, xiii, 5,15, 27, 81, 192Curtis, Joan, 155n1data flow in teams, 100. See alsoStages of Team DevelopmentDecision Points, xiii, 6–7, 8–9, 11,15, 17, 18, 27, 45, 61, 122, 191;costs, xiii, 7, 15, 27, 61, 122,191; firing a client, 72; limits,xiii, 7, 8–9, 61, 191, 199; powersources, 7, 9, 27, 45, 61, 191Difficult Conversations: How toDiscover What Matters Most(Stone, Patton, and Heen), xii,12, 81; adapted case, 82–83Difficult Person, 29, 32, 44, 69;Are You a Difficult Person, 30–31; tips for dealing with, 29–30discipline: defined, 80; how to,using the SIJR Model, 80Dugan, Lisa S., 119, 120, 157Elster, Katie, xii, 17–18e-mail: types, 178; when to use,177–78Emotional Intelligence, 79–80,192; emotional quotient (EQ),79–80, 81, 87Equal Employment OpportunityCommission, 121etiquette, 169; Rate Your EtiquetteQuotient, 157–58evaluation in teams, 101. See alsoStages of Team DevelopmentExpressive personality: case analysis,26, 33, 41, 50, 53, 77, 87, 94,129, 138, 167–68, 188–89;characteristics, 20–21, 42, 48, 58,70, 65, 69, 75, 85, 91, 105, 110,126, 135, 146, 160, 166, 170,180, 185–86; in meetings, 21,114; leaders, 117; teens, 195feedback, 2, 32, 35, 104Forming Stage in groups, 99–101,104–5, 109, 112, 116–17. Seealso Stages of TeamDevelopmentGallup, 79, 80Gilbreath, Brad, 79–80goals, common, 98–100. See alsoteamGoleman, Daniel, 79–80, 142, 192group dynamics, 96; defined, 97–99; case analysis of, 104, 107,109, 112–13, 116–17; personalityin groups, 105, 110, 113–14;stages, 99–101. See also teamgroupthink, 100gut-level decisions, 142–43. Seealso strategic interviewHarkins, Paul, 6, 88, 94, 95;Powerful Conversation Model,88–89
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
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Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Larry is clearly a Technical person
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Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
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Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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Chapter 6Sticky Situations with Sub
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Sticky Situations with Subordinates
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Chapter 7Sticky Situations in Meeti
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Chapter 8Sticky Romantic Situations
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Sticky Romantic Situations in the O
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