Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Etiquette Situations 159not learn of Brad’s interest in the trip until her boss announcedthat they both would go. Belinda knew her face dropped whenshe heard that Brad was going. He and Belinda both work asmarketing executives. Both have different accounts and rarelyintermingle, but Brad’s behavior has always caused Belinda tofeel uncomfortable. He’s one of those guys who seems to undressyou with his eyes. He leers at her and has made suggestive, lewdremarks. The thought of traveling 18 hours in an airplane withhim next to her gives her the creeps. Furthermore, once they arrivein Singapore, they are staying at the same hotel and renting acar together. The last day there, they travel across Singapore tovisit the company offices before they return home.APPLYING THE SAY IT JUST RIGHT MODELDECISION POINTSBelinda weighs the costs. Belinda really wants to take this trip. Itmay be her only opportunity to go to Singapore. She’s worked withthe company for five years, and this is the first time her boss has agreedto send her overseas. She could request going next year, but there’s noguarantee that Brad would not go again. Furthermore, if she declinesthis trip, her boss may not approve one for next year. He may considerher ungrateful. The conference they will attend is one of the biggest inher field. She will have an opportunity to learn new techniques, shareideas with others, and meet people from throughout the world. It’s ahuge chance for her. She decides that she must go.Belinda sets the limits. Belinda is single, but Brad is married andhas two small children. According to the office grapevine, he’s nevertried anything with anyone in the office. She suspects that he’s all barkand no bite because he flirts but doesn’t seem to take action. He’snever made a direct pass at her. Nonetheless, she does not appreciatehis lewd remarks. She will travel with Brad, but she will make it clearto him that if he does anything to cross the line, she will report hisbehavior to their boss and to Brad’s wife.Belinda determines the power sources. Brad has less tenure withthe company than Belinda. He’s relatively new and thereby more dispensable.He came to the company with impressive credentials,including a stint with Microsoft. He brings a lot of practical marketingknowledge that they all admired when he was hired. Belinda recognizes,however, that if she reports him for inappropriate behavior, it
160 Managing Sticky Situations at Workmight cause a problem in the office. Before Belinda came, there werethree marketing executives including their boss, all men. Belinda madeevery effort to fit in as one of the boys and not to make her femininitytoo obvious. If she reports Brad, her relationship with everyone willchange.PERSONALITY OVERLAYBelinda recognizes Brad’s Expressive personality. He craves beingthe center of attention. He’s personable and easy to talk with. Heoften makes jokes. He draws others to him like a bee to honey. Oneof the reasons Brad excels in his work is that clients enjoy his personality.His Expressiveness enables him to win friends, but it also causeshim to say things that he should not say. He does not think beforehe opens his mouth. She’s noticed that she is not the only person Bradhas offended with his indiscreet tongue.Belinda, on the other hand, has some Expressive characteristics, butshe is more of a Bold. She dislikes Brad’s constant talk. She wondershow she’ll stand being on the airplane with him if he decides to chatwith her the entire 18 hours. She recognizes her own impatience,but she also knows that to make this trip tolerable for both of them,she’ll have to adapt her style. She can’t expect Brad to change.SAY IT JUST RIGHT CONVERSATIONBelinda walks into Brad’s cubicle and sits down. ‘‘We’ve got totalk.’’He looks at her and grins. ‘‘I’m all ears. What do you want to talk tome about?’’‘‘Before we go to Singapore, it would be good for us to set someground rules.’’He leans back and sighs. ‘‘This is going to be a glorious trip. I can’twait to get you all to myself.’’She glares at him. ‘‘That’s exactly what I’m talking about. I am notinterested in playing games with you—’’‘‘Whoa, an angry woman. I love it. You know your eyes get bluerwhen you’re mad. How ’bout we duke it out?’’She takes a breath. ‘‘Brad, I’m not joking here. We’re going to betogether for many hours during this trip. It can be a great experiencefor us or it can be horrific. It’s your choice.’’
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
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Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Larry is clearly a Technical person
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Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
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Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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Chapter 7Sticky Situations in Meeti
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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