Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Romantic Situations in the Office 133Both agree to what they’ve discussed. ‘‘Again, Roxanne, I’ll doeverything I can to help you locate a new position. I’m sure this willall work out with time,’’ says Dr. Jordan.ANALYSISOf course, Dr. Jordan cannot force Roxanne and Larry to be morediscreet. He cannot make them curtail their acts of affection in public.But, he can adjust the schedule to enable them to work different shifts.He can also do everything in his power to transfer Roxanne to anotherdepartment or hospital.Furthermore, during the SIJR Conversation, Dr. Jordan carefullyavoided being judgmental with either party, particularly with Dr.Stewart. He simply told him what might happen if he did not confessto his wife. He didn’t say it was right to talk to her and wrong to havean affair. Both Stewart and Mosley were defensive enough withoutmaking accusations. Technicals tend to be judgmental. It took allDr. Jordan’s strength of character to refrain from his natural tendencyto judge. In so doing, he got them past their defensiveness andfocused on trying to resolve the problem in a professional manner.He pushed them to come up with solutions they could abide.Specify the Problem. Being a Technical, Jordan had little difficultyquickly specifying the problem in clear, unemotional terms. Bothdoctors, particularly Dr. Stewart, responded defensively right away.Dr. Jordan expected that response. He did not, however, want Stewart’sdefensiveness to escalate into anger.Invite Others to Talk. When Dr. Jordan asked them what wouldresolve the problem, he invited them to share solutions with him. Hedid not ask them to talk about their relationship. He wanted them tofocus on the future and come up with a solution. He had to push themby inviting them to talk about solutions several times. At first theycould only see the obvious solutions, namely, leave or end the affair.It wasn’t until they became less defensive that they opened their eyesto other options to resolve the problem.Join Feeling with Fact. Dr. Jordan joined feeling with fact when hetalked to Dr. Stewart about opening up to his wife. He also shared hisfrustration when the couple continued to respond defensively withoutsharing ideas for resolution.Resolve the Issue. Once the couple suggested ideas that couldresolve the problem, Dr. Jordan listened and waited until the end ofthe SIJR Conversation before he tossed in his ideas.
134 Managing Sticky Situations at WorkSTICKY SITUATION #17:YOU FIND YOUR SUBORDINATE HOTCalvin hired Melissa five months ago. He liked her immediately.During the interview they talked freely as if they’d known eachother for years. She made him laugh. He appreciated her quickhumor. He hired her without hesitation to serve as the sales managerover a challenging territory. Her experience in sales suggestedshe’d bring a fresh approach to the business. She’sperformed beyond expectations. Not only did she reestablish tiesthat had been threatened, but she also brought in new business.He suspects that he’s not alone in appreciating her easy mannerand fresh appearance.Recently Calvin discovered himself thinking about Melissa atodd times during the day. When she’s traveling, he wonderswhere she is and what she’s doing and is anxious for her return.Usually he allows the sales team to work independently with periodicupdates. But, whenever Melissa returns from a trip, he callsher into his office on the pretext of wanting an update on resultsfrom the meetings. She seems relaxed and easy about theseencounters, but he knows he’s stepping over the line. What concernshim even more is he’s been dreaming about Melissa andhas awakened from those dreams very aroused. He worries thatthe situation might get out of hand, and he’s not sure where totake it.APPLYING THE SAY IT JUST RIGHT MODELDECISION POINTSCalvin weighs the costs. Melissa is single, and so is Calvin. Heknows that she is not seeing someone at the moment. He came outof a long-term relationship a few months back. Calvin feels a sparkbetween him and Melissa and suspects that something special mightbe there. On the other hand, if Calvin approaches her in a personalway, he will lose her as an employee. She’s performed very well forhis division, and he expects that they will all benefit with extra bonusesthis year. She’s turned around an otherwise very difficult territory.Losing her would be difficult for him to explain to his boss. If theydecide to date and it does not work out, he’s lost a very goodemployee and still he’s alone. But, if he they decide to test their
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
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Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Larry is clearly a Technical person
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Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
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Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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30 Managing Sticky Situations at Wo
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Chapter 5Sticky Situations with Cli
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Chapter 6Sticky Situations with Sub
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Sticky Situations with Subordinates
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202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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