Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Situations with Subordinates 91PERSONALITY OVERLAYRobert is a Sympathetic personality. Even though he took the risk topurchase the bar, which was a bold move, that action was atypical forRobert. Being a Sympathetic, Robert thrives on making everyonehappy. He wants to make his wife happy, and he wants to please hisolder brother. The purchase of the bar seemed like a good idea tohim because it would ease the financial struggles in his family. Insteadit worsened matters.From what we know about Sam, it is hard for us to determine his personalitystyle. We do know he took a huge risk when he moved to astrange town to begin a new job at his stage in life. That move tookcourage. Furthermore, from Robert’s analysis, he seems to be a persuasivepersonality. The risky decisions to move here and to leave his longtimejob suggest a Bold style. His persuasiveness suggests an Expressivestyle. A Technical would never leave a job in which he was eight yearsaway from retiring and move to a new town. Finally, we see no behaviorsthat suggest Sam might or might not be a Sympathetic.If Sam is a Bold it will be easier for Robert to talk to him. He canspell out the problem and go directly into the next steps. Sam willnot want to hear a lot of detail. He will understand the need for action.Furthermore, the risky place Sam will find himself in will not pose asbig a threat to a Bold as it might to the other personality styles.If Sam is either an Expressive or a Sympathetic, it will be more difficultfor Robert to talk to him. An Expressive will do everything in hispower to convince Robert that he is making a mistake. He will usethe power of his strong personality to change Robert’s mind. A Sympatheticwill exploit Robert’s obligation as Sam’s brother not to endhis job and will tap into Robert’s natural loyalty to his family. A Sympatheticcouldalsobecomesadanddepressed.Either of these stylesor reactions will pose problems for Robert.SAY IT JUST RIGHT CONVERSATIONOn Sunday afternoon Robert walks into the bar where he’s agreedto meet with his brother to talk.‘‘Sam, I want to discuss our finances. Things are not going well atthe bar.’’Sam jumps in. ‘‘I know. I know. I’ve got some ideas to turn all thataround. I heard about a pool competition event that we can hook upwith. Green Brier Billiards used to sponsor it every year, but they’re
92 Managing Sticky Situations at Worknot going to do it anymore. I think they’re nearly bankrupt. Anyway,this is a great chance for us to get a huge boost.’’‘‘Sam, I’m finished. I don’t think you get it. I can’t go on. I broughtthe figures in for you to look at for yourself. This will show you howmuch debt I’ve gotten myself into. I simply can’t put any more moneyin it. It’s gotten way out of control. I’ve decided I have no choice butto sell the bar.’’ (Specifies the problem with facts and statistics.)‘‘Come on, Robbie, you can hang in there longer. Everybody knowsit takes more than two years to get a new business going. Look at thestatistics. Remember when dad started the car shop? He nearly wentbankrupt in the first few years. But, then everything evened out. Mostsmall businesses don’t make any money in the first two years. We’veactually made a little, particularly since I’ve been here. You’ve onlyhad control of the bar for eight months. Give it a couple of years andyou’ll have more money than you can count. This place has real potential.You know it and so do I.’’Robert gets up and paces around the room. ‘‘I don’t have two years.I can’t borrow any more money without going bankrupt. It’s over forme. I’m going to put the bar on the market at the end of August.’’‘‘I can’t believe you’re quitting. You’re not a quitter. I’ve neverknown you to just give up like this. What you need is a good accountantwho can help you shift money around. I’ve got a guy I worked within Philly. Let me give him a call. He knows how to work miracles. I bethe’s just what you need. There’s no need to rush into this decision.’’‘‘Sam, you are not listening to what I am saying. What have I justsaid to you?’’ (Asks questions to confirm understanding—Step 1.)‘‘You said you are quitting. That’s what I’ve heard.’’‘‘No, Sam, that’s not what I said. I said I have no more resources.The money is gone. I’d love to keep going, and if I had the resources,I would. But, I don’t, and you don’t either. We’ve got to face reality.We can’t keep this place operating. I’m very sad that you got mixedup in this with me. I would give anything if you had not come downhere, but you are here. We must figure out what you are going todo.’’ (Joins feelings with facts.)‘‘Remember when you were a kid and you didn’t want to go tocamp that first year, and dad made you go? I’ll never forget walkingyou up the dirt path. I had to nearly push you. But once you got there,you loved it. Remember? This is the same thing. I’ll be here to helpyou out, Robbie. We can get through this. The two of us could conquerthe world.’’
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
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Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Larry is clearly a Technical person
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Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
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Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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Chapter 10Sticky Etiquette Situatio
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Sticky Etiquette Situations 165Rita
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Sticky Etiquette Situations 167mone
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Her intent with this question was n
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202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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