Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Situations on the Home Front 193the end of the discussion. In each sticky situation, however, the speakeridentified the problem, which both parties finally resolved, whenweighing the Decision Points.• Invite the Other Person to Talk. Usually the speaker invited theother to talk immediately after specifying the problem. That approachset the tone for curiosity and interest in the other’s point of view.Furthermore, in nearly every case, the speaker invited the other toparticipate in the resolution of the issue. Again, how much the speakerinvited the other to talk depended on the other’s personality. Somepersonalities talk more freely than others.• Join Feelings with Facts. Expressing feelings about what was happeninghumanized the events. Depending on the speaker’s personality, theability to express feeling came with more or less ease. Nonetheless, inall our situations each speaker joined feeling with fact and in doing sotended to grab the other’s attention and move toward problemresolution.• Resolve the Issue. We never saw an SIJR Conversation that endedwithout resolution. The last case in Chapter 11 threatened to do sowhen Nichole requested time before making her decision to participatein the resolution. Her speaker conceded but insisted that she agree tostop the behavior. Had he simply agreed, the problem might havecontinued and/or escalated. Because each speaker invited the other toparticipate in the resolution, the final decision ended up beingsomething both parties could live with.This book demonstrated that the SIJR Model works in all kinds ofoffice situations. We looked at sticky situations between bosses and subordinates,between vendors and customers or clients, and between coworkers.We also looked at situational situations, namely, in interviews,in meetings, as well as in romantic situations, in e-situations, and stickyetiquette situations. Although each of these cases involved differentpeople with different personalities, we applied the model accordingly.The SIJR Model works not only in an office environment but also inthose thorny situations that affect our personal lives. Imagine the followingsticky home situation.STICKY SITUATION #26:YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER IS BUSTEDAnita and Thomas Maxwell have a 17-year-old daughter,Katie, who enjoys popularity in school but whose grades hover at
194 Managing Sticky Situations at Workaverage. Katie has many friends of both sexes. Last weekendKatie asked her parents if she could go to her best friend’s housefor a party. Olivia, her best friend, lives in a neighborhood severalblocks away. Anita and Thomas know the parents very welland felt comfortable granting Katie permission to go.That Saturday night at midnight, the telephone rang. Thomaslearned that his daughter and several other minors were at thepolice station having been arrested for underage drinking. Panicked,Thomas and Anita took off to the police station to rescuetheir daughter. They found her tearful, frightened, and unwillingto talk about the night’s events. Following all the procedureswith the police, Katie was released at 2 A.M.The police informed the parents that the girls had gone to thehouse of an older boy whose parents were out of town for the weekend.The teens invited many other friends and eventually thenoise level alerted the nearby neighbors, who called the police.Katie was one of six girls arrested.APPLYING THE SAY IT JUST RIGHT MODELDECISION POINTSTheMaxwellsweighthecosts.Anita and Thomas both feelbetrayed, but they know their daughter was frightened by the eventsof the night before. Katie, who understands her parents’ rules, hadpermission to go to Olivia’s party, but not to go to someone else’shouse. The Maxwells further learned that there was not a party at Olivia’shouse that night after all. The girls had deliberately deceived bothsets of parents. Nonetheless, the Maxwells feel fortunate that nothingserious happened to their daughter. She did not drive under the influence,and she was not injured in any way. They know, however, that ifthey do not face this incident, the next time could be more serious.According to the police, Katie will have to serve a six-month term ofprobation.The Maxwells set limits. After a long discussion, Anita andThomas decide that it would be best for Anita to talk with Katie. Theyfurther agree that they must punish Katie for what she did eventhough being at the police station and having to face her parentshumiliated Katie and was something she will never forget. Furthermore,the term of probation for their daughtercertainlyfrightenedher. They, decide, however, that their number one desire is for Katieto be honest with them.
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
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Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Larry is clearly a Technical person
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Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
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Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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Chapter 6Sticky Situations with Sub
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Sticky Situations with Subordinates
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Chapter 7Sticky Situations in Meeti
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Chapter 8Sticky Romantic Situations
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Sticky Romantic Situations in the O
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Page 221 and 222: 202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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Page 230 and 231: Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
Page 232: Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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