Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Romantic Situations in the Office 131recognized. Dr. Jordan feels he must take action even if it means a battlewith the hospital administration and perhaps some board members.He feels if it comes to them or him, he will survive.PERSONALITY OVERLAYWe do not have very much information about the personalities ofthe two lovers. We suspect surgeons, however, have a high dose ofTechnical in their personalities. The risk Dr. Stewart is taking byopenly having an affair with a colleague, suggests some Bold in himand perhaps some Expressive. Dr. Mosley is taking less risk. Her personalityis more difficult to determine. Dr. Jordan delayed takingaction when he first learned of the affair. This caution suggests a Technicalpersonality.SAY IT JUST RIGHT CONVERSATION‘‘I called you two into my office to talk to you about a matter thatconcerns me. It’s no secret that the two of you are involved in aromantic relationship.’’ (Specifies the problem immediately.)Stewart sits up. ‘‘Whose business is that of anyone’s?’’‘‘Unfortunately, it has become the business of the hospital. I’ve hadcomplaints from staff within our department, and I recently heard acomment from a board member. I’m distressed that this behaviorreflects badly on our department. Already I see morale dropping. I’mcurious to know what ideas you might have to resolve this problem.’’(Invites them to talk.)Mosley sighs. ‘‘I think people should focus on doing their jobsand leave us alone. That’s in the best interest of the patients and thehospital.’’‘‘Of course it is,’’ said Stewart. ‘‘What we do affects no one but us.’’‘‘That’s where you’re wrong. Because both of you are highlyrespected physicians in this department, it affects everyone. Larry,I’m not judging you, but your wife works on the fourth floor. Howlong before she hears about this? I’m worried that she could causemajor problems for our division.’’ (Joins feelings with facts.)‘‘Leave her to me.’’‘‘What would you have us do?’’ Mosley asks. ‘‘Resign?’’Dr. Jordan fiddles with his pen. ‘‘I’m not asking either of you toresign just yet. I’m interested in learning what you think can bedone to resolve this problem.’’ (Persists in inviting them to help
132 Managing Sticky Situations at Workwith the resolution without denying the possible consequence ofresignation.)Stewart reaches over and takes Mosley’s hand. ‘‘If Roxanne resigns,I will, too.’’Dr. Jordan takes a deep breath. ‘‘I’m frustrated and disappointedthat you are unwilling to come up with a solution other than resignation.’’(Joins feelings with facts.)‘‘Well, we’re not going to end our relationship just because a bunchof gossipy people aren’t happy with it,’’ says Stewart.‘‘Besides resigning and ending your relationship, what else mightyou do?’’ Dr. Jordan asks.Mosley says. ‘‘I guess we could work different shifts. That way wewon’t be running into each other all the time.’’Dr. Jordan nods. ‘‘What else?’’‘‘I’m going to talk to Nancy,’’ Stewart resolves. ‘‘I’ve been meaningto do that, but—well, I guess I haven’t wanted to hurt her.’’‘‘She’ll be hurt more when she finds out about the relationshipthrough the grapevine,’’ Dr. Jordan says and adds, ‘‘Is there anythingelse the two of you could do?’’ (Pushes to get them to resolve theissue.)They are silent.Jordan continues. ‘‘You need to be more discreet when you’retogether. It doesn’t help matters when people find you kissing in thehallways or holding hands in the doctor’s lounge.’’ He pauses. ‘‘AsI see it, one of you needs to move out of this department. Even ifyou follow through on everything you’ve suggested today, thesituation has become too volatile. Once you’ve figured out who wantsto move, let me know. I’ll do everything I can to help you find asuitable position either in this hospital or elsewhere. You areboth excellent physicians. I do not want to lose either of you, but Ihave little choice. My hope is we can keep one of you.’’ (Lookingfor resolution.)Mosley says, ‘‘I know Larry said he’d leave if I left, but I don’t thinkthat’s a good idea. I’ve already been looking, and it would be a lot easierfor me to go someplace else.’’Dr. Jordan concludes, ‘‘So, you’re going to begin working differentshifts. Larry, you’re going to come clean with Nancy. The two of youare going to stop being so overt with your feelings in public, andfinally, Roxanne you’re going to search for a new position. Is thereanything else?’’ (Summarizes the resolution.)
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
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Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Larry is clearly a Technical person
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Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
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Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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Chapter 5Sticky Situations with Cli
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Chapter 6Sticky Situations with Sub
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202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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