Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Situations with Co-Workers 51apologized for not being clearer about her limits, never once intimatingthat he should apologize for his insensitivity to her work demands.Join Feeling with Fact. Samantha said she was disappointed that hewas still calling her. She reminded him that she’d recommended himfor the job, and she still had confidence in his ability. These commentsresonated with Dale.Resolve the Issue. After Samantha made the limits clear, she askedDale what would help him. He came up with the resolution—that is,to continue to tweak his presentations. She agreed, but only for twomore weeks. After that, she told him he’d be on his own.Undoubtedly Samantha and Dale must continue to work out theirdifferences. By being honest with one another, however, they begancommunicating more confidently. For Samantha to empower Daleshe must allow him to do his job and not do it for him. By overprotectingand not releasing her job to him, she created an unhealthydependency. When Samantha finally cut ties, he felt abandoned. TheSIJR Conversation produced the first step in building a new relationshipof empowerment.STICKY SITUATION #5:YOU STABBED ME IN THE BACKLaura is a buyer for a large retail store. She’s the newest buyeron the team. Her boss informed her that after she’d been therefor six months, she’d earn the right to compete with the otherbuyers to go on a fashion excursion in Paris. Laura has neverstepped foot outside the U.S. but has dreamed of going to Europeher entire life.Patricia holds the top buyer spot in the division. Her recordexceeds everyone else’s. Laura notices that the other buyers freezeout Patricia whenever they can. Patricia, however, assists Lauraand seems ready to be Laura’s friend. In fact, she transferred oneof her top clients, Crawford Williams, to Laura. ‘‘If you get CWoff and running, you’ll win the trip to Paris for sure,’’ she saidto Laura.‘‘But, don’t you want to go?’’ Laura asked.‘‘Nah, I’ve been so many times. You go and have fun. I’dmuch rather see you go than one of those nitwits.’’ She nodstoward the other buyers and gives Laura a conspiratorial wink.
52 Managing Sticky Situations at WorkPatricia usually eats lunch at her desk, alone. The rest of thebuyers never ask her to join them when they exit for lunch or whenthey take off for Friday afternoon happy hour.Two days later, their boss calls Patricia into his office. When shereturns, she announces to the others that she’s going to Paris thisyear after all. She secured the top place in the office once again.Laura stares at her, stunned. She’d nearly wrapped up the dealwith CW and that, combined with her other accounts, gave hera solid lead. What happened?It does not take Laura long to discover that Patricia hadtricked her. She’d lured in an old crony at CW by telling himshe had a line to show him that would ‘‘blow him away.’’ She’dstolen Laura’s notes and followed up on Laura’s leads with greatcare. Then, she told their boss that Laura didn’t have what it tookto be a top buyer. She explained that she’d helped Laura and stillLaura couldn’t pull it off. She showed her boss Laura’s work, pretendingit was hers. The boss ordered Patricia to take over. Shesewed up the deal and won the trip.APPLYING THE SAY IT JUST RIGHT MODELDECISION POINTSLaura determines the costs. Patricia’s treachery left Laura at thebottom of the heap. She has lost the respect of her boss. He had hiredher with enthusiasm because of her previous buying experience. Heappreciated her contacts in the industry and expected great thingsfrom her. Patricia undermined that confidence. If Laura does nothing,she allows Patricia to win. Clearly, Patricia is not a person whom Lauracan trust. Being at the bottom, Laura has nothing to lose in approachingPatricia directly. As Laura sees it, Patricia can do no more damageto her.Laura sets her limits. Laura decides she will talk to Patricia in orderto regain her integrity. She plans not to corner Patricia by insistingthat she admit what she had done or by placing blame. Instead shedecides to make it clear to Patricia never to undermine her again.Laura examines the power sources. As is usually the case withco-workers, both have equal power on paper. Patricia, however,has worked for the store longer and has established herself as a valuablebuyer. Laura, being new, has not established her reputation.Nonetheless, she came to this store with a flawless record and high
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
Page 20 and 21: Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
Page 22 and 23: The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
Page 36 and 37: Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
Page 38 and 39: Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
Page 40 and 41: Personality Overlay 21energy seems
Page 42 and 43: Larry is clearly a Technical person
Page 44 and 45: Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
Page 46: Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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Page 100 and 101: Sticky Situations with Subordinates
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Sticky Situations in Meetings 103to
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Chapter 8Sticky Romantic Situations
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Sticky Romantic Situations in the O
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Chapter 10Sticky Etiquette Situatio
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Her intent with this question was n
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202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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