Managing Sticky Situations at Work

More documents

Recommendations

Info

Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJR) ModelCOMMUNICATION DEFINEDYears ago I uncovered a definition of communication that I doubtwould appear in Wikipedia. I like it because of its simplicity as well asits inherent complexity.Communication is behavior that transmits meaning from one person toanother person. 1This definition tells us that we cannot communicate without behavior.We must do something to communicate. It also tells us that communicationdoes not happen unless meaning is transmitted. Of coursewhat I mean and what you think I mean pose two entirely differentthings. In fact, I can name at least six messages in any conversation.• What you Mean to say• What you Actually say• What the other person Hears• What the other person Thinks he/she hears
2 Managing Sticky Situations at Work• What the other person Says• What you Think the other person saysNo wonder we encounter so many sticky communication problems.To make matters worse, did you know that our minds think four timesfaster than the average person can speak? Even when we try to listen,our thinking minds fly many miles an hour in another direction. Harnessingall that thinking energy takes discipline, focus, and concentration.In today’s world where most of us multitask our way throughlife, stopping to really hear another person seems impossible. As weexamine communication, you will see how important it is to stopdoing whatever it is you are doing, to set your antenna in the directionof the speaker, and to assign your thinking mind the job of listening.Besides turning off our cell phones, however, how can we do this?One way to compensate for these communication challenges isthrough good feedback. Feedback unravels these multiple messagesand helps us focus our fast-thinking minds.Great! Feedback solves the communication problem, right?Unfortunately, it’s not quite that simple. One snag prevents feedbackfrom being the communication savior. That snag lies in the question,Who assumes responsibility for the feedback—the person sendingthe message or the person receiving the message? Have you ever beenin a meeting where no one takes charge? I’m sure you’ve had thisexperience and found it quite unpleasant. People float around, notsure what to do. Often these meetings produce nothing more thanchaos and frustration. Because no one knows who is in charge of feedback,no one takes responsibility for feedback, and that creates chaos,frustration, and miscommunication.We glean one lesson from this, particularly when we find ourselvesin a sticky situation that involves tangled communication: We musttake responsibility for feedback. Regardless of whether you send themessage or receive it, you are responsible for feedback. As the sender,you must solicit feedback from your receiver. As the receiver, you mustdisclose or give feedback to your sender.People often ask, ‘‘How do I solicit information if I’m not surehow the message was received?’’ The answer to this question requiresyou to tune up and sharpen your nonverbal antenna. Whenyou see a frown, respond. When you hear a tentative quiver in thevoice, notice it. Confident communicators, who say it just right, reactto how the receiver responds to the message. They listen to not only
Page 2: Managing StickySituations at WorkCo
Page 6 and 7: Managing StickySituations at WorkCo
Page 8: ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
Page 12: AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
Page 15 and 16: xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
Page 17 and 18: xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
Page 22 and 23: The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
Page 36 and 37: Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
Page 38 and 39: Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
Page 40 and 41: Personality Overlay 21energy seems
Page 42 and 43: Larry is clearly a Technical person
Page 44 and 45: Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
Page 46: Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
Page 49 and 50: 30 Managing Sticky Situations at Wo
Page 69 and 70:
50 Managing Sticky Situations at Wo
Page 71 and 72:
Page 73 and 74:
Page 75 and 76:
Page 77 and 78:
Page 79 and 80:
Page 82 and 83:
Chapter 5Sticky Situations with Cli
Page 84 and 85:
Sticky Situations with Clients 65Un
Page 86 and 87:
Sticky Situations with Clients 67
Page 88 and 89:
Sticky Situations with Clients 69ve
Page 90 and 91:
Sticky Situations with Clients 71
Page 92 and 93:
‘‘I’m glad to hear that. I wa
Page 94 and 95:
Sticky Situations with Clients 75fr
Page 96 and 97:
Sticky Situations with Clients 77AN
Page 98 and 99:
Chapter 6Sticky Situations with Sub
Page 100 and 101:
Sticky Situations with Subordinates
Page 102 and 103:
Page 104 and 105:
Page 106 and 107:
Page 108 and 109:
Page 110 and 111:
Page 112 and 113:
Page 114 and 115:
Page 116 and 117:
Chapter 7Sticky Situations in Meeti
Page 118 and 119:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 99you
Page 120 and 121:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 101
Page 122 and 123:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 103to
Page 124 and 125:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 105me
Page 126 and 127:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 107SA
Page 128 and 129:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 109wa
Page 130 and 131:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 111SA
Page 132 and 133:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 113ac
Page 134 and 135:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 115Al
Page 136 and 137:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 117wh
Page 138 and 139:
Chapter 8Sticky Romantic Situations
Page 140 and 141:
Sticky Romantic Situations in the O
Page 142 and 143:
Page 144 and 145:
Page 146 and 147:
Page 148 and 149:
Page 150 and 151:
Page 152 and 153:
Page 154 and 155:
Page 156 and 157:
Page 158:
Page 161 and 162:
142 Managing Sticky Situations at W
Page 163 and 164:
Page 165 and 166:
Page 167 and 168:
Page 169 and 170:
Page 171 and 172:
Page 173 and 174:
Page 176 and 177:
Chapter 10Sticky Etiquette Situatio
Page 178 and 179:
Sticky Etiquette Situations 159not
Page 180 and 181:
Sticky Etiquette Situations 161‘
Page 182 and 183:
Sticky Etiquette Situations 163she
Page 184 and 185:
Sticky Etiquette Situations 165Rita
Page 186 and 187:
Sticky Etiquette Situations 167mone
Page 188 and 189:
Her intent with this question was n
Page 190 and 191:
Sticky Etiquette Situations 171inte
Page 192:
Sticky Etiquette Situations 173it i
Page 195 and 196:
Page 197 and 198:
Page 199 and 200:
Page 201 and 202:
Page 203 and 204:
Page 205 and 206:
Page 207 and 208:
Page 209 and 210:
Page 211 and 212:
Page 213 and 214:
Page 215 and 216:
Page 217 and 218:
Page 219 and 220:
Page 221 and 222:
202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
Page 223 and 224:
204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
Page 225 and 226:
206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
Page 228 and 229:
IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
Page 230 and 231:
Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
Page 232:
Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
show all

Managing Sticky Situations at Work

Create successful ePaper yourself

Delete template?

Save as template?