Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Interview Situations 153‘‘So, you’re worried that any mom you interview will have the sameproblem, and you don’t want to go through that again, right?’’(Shows compassion.)‘‘I suppose I overdid it, didn’t I? I wanted to get a sense of yourcommitment to work and personally I’m amazed by what you’veaccomplished with two kids. I can barely breathe with just one.’’Wanda sits back. ‘‘I appreciate that recognition. Not everyone realizesthe constant struggle. That in and of itself shows my commitmentto work and my ability to persevere. I’m happy to talk about that. Youare also welcome to talk to any of my professors who will vouch for mydedication to the team. It had troubled me, though, when I tried totalk about my work, we kept going back to my personal life. I understandyour concerns now and your curiosity. Thank you for sharingthat. How can we move forward from here?’’ (Invites her to helpresolve the problem.)‘‘You’ve made it clear that you have a strong work ethic. That’simportant to us. Like I said this is a conservative company and eventhough family values are held high, so is a strong work ethic. Howabout we go forward with your telling me how you see your researchskills specifically benefiting our division?’’ANALYSISWanda struggled to get Janice to allow her to talk about her workexperience. When she asked the question about what attracted Janiceto her résumé she attempted to shift the spotlight away from personalissues. It worked for a while, but then Janice returned to asking personalquestions. Wanda showed patience as well as compassion andcuriosity. She finally, however, had to specify the problem as gentlyas she could.Specify the Problem. Wanda knew that the personal questions Janicewas asking were clearly illegal. Interviewers are not supposed to askcandidates, particularly women candidates, about their children ortheir child care plans. If Wanda had pointed out that the questionswere illegal, she would have alienated Janice and lost the opportunityfor continued interviews. She could have threatened a lawsuit unlessJanice sent her to the next stage of interviews, but that would havebeen very risky. She elected to say it just right by specifying the problemgently, namely, that Janice kept asking questions that were unrelatedto her work.
154 Managing Sticky Situations at WorkInvite the Other Person to Talk. Wanda invited Janice to talk intwo places. First, when she specified the problem. She did this to giveJanice a chance to explain what was going on. The second place waswhen she was looking for a resolution. She gave Janice a chance toreframe the interview and move forward.Join Feeling with Fact. In two instances Wanda said she was ‘‘a bitconfused.’’ By using a nonexplosive feeling, like confusion, Wandaenabled Janice to help her understand what was happening in theinterview. Wanda did this from an orientation of curiosity. She alsoshowed compassion for Janice after the interviewer explained whathappened with another employee as well as her own stress with findingbalance in her life.Resolve the Issue. By putting her feelings on the table and clearlyspecifying the problem within her limits, Wanda gave Janice a chanceto resolve the problem. Wanda wanted to give Janice the power backand thereby put the interview back on track without creating badfeelings.CONCLUSIONIn this chapter we looked at two sticky interview situations. In thefirst we saw a situation most interviewers dread, namely, instanceswhere the candidate clams up. It is very hard to conduct a strategicinterview when the candidate does not talk. Paul gave Richard everyopportunity to talk. He wanted Richard to leave the interview understandingwhy this job was not the best fit. Some interviewers do notcare about the candidate’s feelings. Once they decide to reject the candidate,they either end the interview quickly or ask abrupt, closedquestions. Paul, who is probably a Sympathetic, preferred not to crushthe candidate’s spirit. He persisted and thereby turned a sticky,uncomfortable interview into a professional conversation that ledRichard to the realization that the job was not for him—somethingPaul already knew.The second case illustrated a sticky situation that many people whointerview for jobs face. Wanda desired to get past the first round ofinterviews so she could showcase her scientific skills among fellow scientists.Even though Janice began the interview well by saying shewanted to get to know Wanda better, she crossed the line by probingpersonal areas that are legally sensitive. Wanda had to decide howmuch she was willing to endure. Once Janice went past that line,
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
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Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Larry is clearly a Technical person
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Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
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Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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Chapter 5Sticky Situations with Cli
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Chapter 6Sticky Situations with Sub
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Sticky Situations with Subordinates
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Chapter 7Sticky Situations in Meeti
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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