Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model 9Once he sets his limits with Sandra, he can share those limits in adetached manner. It’s not Sandra but Sandra the client he is talkingto. Sandra may want to have a personal relationship with the peopleshe does business with. Roger, on the other hand, prefers to keep thetone strictly professional.DETERMINE THE POWER SOURCESWho has the power? Are you feeling powerless? When we feelpowerless, any situation becomes stickier. Roger feels powerlessbecause he has given Sandra all the power. As the customer, she holdsthe purse strings. He fears she’ll take away her business if he confrontsher. That fear causes him to give up his power which she willinglyaccepts. Roger does not have to give up his power, however. Whatdoes Roger lose if Sandra pulls back her business? What does Sandralose? Undoubtedly there is more to lose on both sides than either realize.Roger must reassert his position of power with the same confidencehe showed when he sold Sandra the product. That reassertionwill enable him to take the risk to clarify his position. From this vantagepoint Roger can say what he recommends will resolve the stickysituation and negotiate a solution that does not convey a sense ofpowerlessness on either side.How might Roger reassert himself? He begins by posing powerfulquestions to Sandra. What does she hope to accomplish tonight? Heshould make it clear to her that although he is willing to celebrate theirnew business relationship, he wants to discuss the rollout. If Sandrapersists in a way that makes Roger uncomfortable, he should indicatethat he prefers meeting during office hours.Let’s examine another sticky situation and watch how a confidentcommunicator applies the Three C’s and the Decision Points.Mary Lou’s boss enters her cubical with the annual report andtosses it on her desk. ‘‘We need to get this out by the end of theday,’’ he tells her. The clock reads nearly 4:30. Mary Lou has anappointment with her personal trainer at 5:30. She cannot finishthat report and keep her appointment. She knows that her boss hashadthisdocumentforseveraldaysandhasputofffinishingit.This isn’t the first time he’s saved something until the last minuteand then expected her to stay late to get it out.‘‘I have to tell you that I won’t be able to finish this before 5:00,and I can’t stay late tonight,’’ Mary Lou says.
10 Managing Sticky Situations at Work‘‘Listen, Mary Lou, I don’t ask you to stay late often. This isimportant. I need to get it out right away.’’‘‘I recognize how important this is to you, but this particularnight I can’t stay late. What other options are available to us?’’‘‘There are no other options,’’ he responds.Mary Lou takes a deep breath. ‘‘Help me understand what isgoing on here. What are the pressures that necessitate getting thisout tonight and not tomorrow morning?’’‘‘I just want it off my desk and out of my mind.’’‘‘So,’’ she says, ‘‘you really don’t have to have it out tonight.You’re just tired of thinking about it and want to get rid of it?’’Her boss’s eyes shift and he sighs: ‘‘The problem is it’s overdue,and I promised Jake I’d get it done tonight. I should have gottenit out last week.’’‘‘This report is obviously something that has been bothering you.What kinds of things got in the way of getting it out last week?’’she asks.‘‘I simply hate doing this darn thing. I am not comfortablewriting, and I tend to put it off for as long as I can.’’‘‘I like to write. Maybe next time I can help you with some ofthe parts you find difficult.’’He smiles. ‘‘That would be great. But, what about this report?I really need it out tonight.’’‘‘The best I can offer is first thing tomorrow. Next time, whydon’t we plan to meet in early June and begin pulling the datatogether. Then I will write a draft for you, and we’ll go fromthere. What do you think?’’‘‘That’s a good plan.’’‘‘In the future if you come to me sooner with projects that youdon’t like, maybe we can put our heads together and get it donewith as little pain as possible. That way we won’t get stuck atthe last minute trying to finish and maybe disappointing Jake.’’‘‘I’ll do my best, but sometimes I have to wait on data fromother parts of the company,’’ he says.‘‘If we get most of it done ahead of time, we can always fill inthe blanks later. Meantime, I promise I’ll get this report out firstthing tomorrow.’’There is no guarantee that Mary Lou’s boss’s behavior will change.Next year, he may still bring the report to her at the last minute. Ifhe does, however, he knows to expect that it will go out late. She
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Page 8: ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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Page 15 and 16: xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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Chapter 5Sticky Situations with Cli
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Chapter 6Sticky Situations with Sub
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Sticky Situations with Subordinates
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Chapter 7Sticky Situations in Meeti
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Chapter 8Sticky Romantic Situations
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Sticky Romantic Situations in the O
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Chapter 10Sticky Etiquette Situatio
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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