Managing Sticky Situations at Work

Sticky Situations with Co-Workers 47‘‘Look, Dale, I did pull some things together for you. I made alist of everything that needs to be done, but I can’t do any more.I’ve got too much on my plate right now.’’Dale’s face turns red. ‘‘But, you said you’d help. I was countingon you. Now what am I supposed to do? If this doesn’t fly,it’s not just my butt on the line.’’‘‘You don’t have to get so hot,’’ Samantha replies. ‘‘I did whatI could, and that’s more than most people would have done.’’‘‘What’s that supposed to mean? After all I’ve done for you inthe past, I thought you’d be more of a team player than this.’’‘‘I am a team player, and you know that. I’ve always pulledthrough for you.’’Dale rises. ‘‘Not this time. You’d better leave. I’ve got a lot ofwork to do.’’Feeling angry and frustrated, Samantha leaves.APPLYING THE SAY IT JUST RIGHT MODELDECISION POINTSSamantha weighs the costs. If Samantha does nothing, she has littleto lose. She’s been helpful to Dale, and she knows it. If fact, theconceptoftoughlovemightworkbesthere.LetDalesinkorswim.He needs to do his job on his own without assistance from Samantha.Conversely, Dale and Samantha have always enjoyed a very goodworking relationship. Samantha likes his energetic, friendly manner.Furthermore, Dale knows lots of people throughout the company,not just in his department. If he freezes her out, she’ll feel it in thelunch room and possibly elsewhere. She’d prefer not to leave thingson such a sour note.Samantha sets her limits. Samantha recognizes that she helpedDale for too long. She should have broken away sooner. She also realizesthat by waiting she ended up severing their ties too abruptly. Shedid not handle the situation well. Furthermore, she gave him theimpression she’d help him. She should have told him no immediately.By using the word we when she asked about the amount of prep time,she left him with the idea that she’d help. Granted she made some mistakesin her dealings with Dale, but her ultimate goal is for Dale todevelop the confidence to do his own job. She will no longer dropeverything to help him. She will place a limit on what she will do andwhat she won’t do.