Managing Sticky Situations at Work

162 Managing Sticky Situations at Work‘‘How does your wife respond when you ‘cut up’ with otherwomen?’’He chuckles. ‘‘She’s used to it. She knows how I am. It’s no bigdeal.’’‘‘I have to tell you, Brad, it is a big deal to me. I’m a pretty easygoingperson, but I’ve been tempted to cite you for sexual harassment.Your comments about my clothes, about my hair, about my body,about how I smell are too suggestive. You’ve come very close to crossingthe line.’’ She pauses. ‘‘Although I now understand that you don’treally mean it the way it comes across, someone else might not be aspatient as I’ve been.’’‘‘You are a very attractive woman, and I just can’t—’’‘‘That’s not relevant. It is not professional. I’m a marketing executive,just like you. When you say things like that to me, it puts medown, belittles me as a professional woman.’’ (Joins feelings withfacts.)‘‘I have a lot of respect for you and your work. I never meant to putyou down.’’‘‘I know that now.’’ She takes a breath. ‘‘We have a chance to builda strong working relationship on this trip. Let’s give it a try. Are youwilling?’’‘‘Sure. What do you want me to do?’’‘‘Better still. Why don’t you tell me what you can do to curtail yourneed to ‘cut up’ with me?’’ (Invites him to resolve the issue.)He takes a deep breath. ‘‘I’ll not mention anything about the wayyou look. How’s that?’’‘‘Anything else?’’‘‘Maybe we can limit our discussions only to work. And, I won’tpress you to eat or drink with me.’’Belinda smiles. ‘‘All that sounds great. I suspect, though, we’ll talkabout things other than work, but if it feels uncomfortable to me, I’lllet you know. Deal?’’They shake on it.ANALYSISBelinda started the discussion with Brad as a typical Bold. She gotright to the point and wanted him to play her game. Brad, on theother hand, refused to join in. He toyed with her. Rather than getangry and impatient with him, she recognized what she’d done, and