Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Her intent with this question was not to invite the other to talk, but toshare her frustration.Join Feeling with Fact. Adelaide told Ricky that she valued theirfriendship. She made it clear, however, that she could not continueto have lunch with him if she had to pay for both lunches. She showedappreciation for his willingness to pay for her lunch today, but she didnot want him to do that as a martyr. Her willingness to begin with aclean slate opened the door for a resolution that Ricky could participatein.Resolve the Issue. Because Ricky tends to take advantage of people,he will probably cross the line again. Adelaide must prepare herself forthat eventuality. They agreed for him to pay for her lunch today butfrom now on they’d go Dutch. In the future if Ricky has a crisis (nowallet or no credit cards), Adelaide will likely have to confront himagain.As far as etiquette is concerned, when two colleagues eat lunchtogether, they split the bill. If you take your subordinate or a clientto lunch, you pay.STICKY SITUATION #23:TRAVELING WITH YOUR BOSSSticky Etiquette Situations 169Louisa works as an associate professor of history at a major university.Her dean, Dr. Marshall, invited her to attend anational conference in Texas to deliver a paper with him. Louisais excited about the opportunity to go to this conference. She andDr. Marshall have worked hard to prepare the material for thepresentation. Recently, she learned that she and Dr. Marshallwould travel to Texas together. They will stay in the same hoteland share taxis to get around the city. In all likelihood they willeat most of their meals together. Dr. Marshall knows other peopleat the conference, but Louisa knows no one except Dr. Marshall.She worries that she will seem a burden to her dean. She thinkshe will feel obligated to introduce her to anyone they meet andwill not wish to leave her on her own. She also worries about howshe will handle certain expenses. Who, for example, pays for thetaxi or tips the driver? Who pays for the meals? Although thedepartment pays for the major expenses, it does not cover drinksor other incidentals. Just because Dr. Marshall is a man and isthe dean, is he required to pay for everything?
170 Managing Sticky Situations at WorkAPPLYING THE SAY IT JUST RIGHT MODELDECISION POINTSLouisa weighs the costs. Louisa wants to impress Dr. Marshall withher independence. She’s been to conferences alone and met manynew, interesting people. The last thing she wants is for Dr. Marshallto wish he’d never included her in this conference. If the presentationgoes well, they might have opportunities to travel to other universitiesto talk about their research. She wants Dr. Marshall to see her as anasset and not a liability. If she talks to him ahead of time about howto handle miscellaneous expenses, he may consider her foolish ornaïve. If she does not talk to him, they won’t have a clear understanding,and that may produce some awkward moments.Louisa sets limits. Louisa decides that she will talk to Dr. Marshalland tell him she does not expect him to include her when he’s interactingwith his colleagues. She will also tell him she’d like to setsome parameters about expenses before they go in order to avoidmisunderstandings.Louisa examines the power sources. All the obvious power lieswith Dr. Marshall. Louisa knows that if she does not assert herself withDr. Marshall, she’ll appear powerless. But if she does so beforehand,she can establish limits and enable both of them to have a much moreproductive trip.PERSONALITY OVERLAYWe don’t know a lot about Dr. Marshall’s personality. Because heinvited Louisa to join him and because he seems open to working withher, we might assume he is neither a Bold nor an Expressive personality.Bolds and Expressives are hard to pin down to work on a project.Expressives might invite others to join them at the conference, butthey’d prefer to take center stage during the presentation, rather thanallow the other person to present jointly as it sounds Dr. Marshall hasdone. He may, therefore, be a Sympathetic or a Technical. Lisa canobserve Dr. Marshall’s behaviors to determine which.For example, if Louisa mentions her concerns to Dr. Marshall, andhe tells her how it was done in the past with little opportunity for discussion,she knows he is probably a Technical. Most Technicals payattention to the matters that worry Louisa. They want to make certainthat each person pays his or her own way, and no one gets a ‘‘free’’ride. If, on the other hand, Dr. Marshall responds with genuine
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
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Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Larry is clearly a Technical person
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Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
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Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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Chapter 6Sticky Situations with Sub
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Sticky Situations with Subordinates
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Chapter 7Sticky Situations in Meeti
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Page 221 and 222: 202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
Page 223 and 224: 204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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Page 228 and 229: IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
Page 230 and 231: Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
Page 232: Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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