Managing Sticky Situations at Work

44 Managing Sticky Situations at WorkJoin Feeling with Fact. Because she was dealing with a Bold personality,Cynthia did not dwell on her feelings. She said she was ‘‘concerned.’’She showed compassion for Steve’s desire to get the callcenter launched and all the work he’d put into the project. Bolds donot like to talk about feelings. She did not overemphasize how distraught,hurt, and betrayed she felt by Steve’s request. She actuallydownplayed her feelings. She did, however, let Steve know the probableconsequences of this rash plan when she said she did not wantto jeopardize both their careers. Often Bolds do not take the time tothink through all the ramifications of their bold moves.Resolve the Issue. Cynthia suggested ways to resolve the issue thatwould keep her integrity intact while she continued to point out thenegative consequences with Steve’s plan to rush the project. Her willingnessat the end to take responsibility if the project failed showed theBold personality that she would share risks. Bolds do not like to admitit when they are wrong. Cynthia did not push him too hard. Insteadshe agreed to take risks with him, thanked him, and left.CONCLUSIONWe’ve examined three sticky situations with difficult bosses. Thefirst boss, Angie, was clearly a Difficult Person who was difficult witheveryone at her agency. Peter took a realistic approach with her, recognizingthe slim chances that her behavior would change. He workedout a solution whereby he could tolerate her inability to communicatewith others, benefit from her creative ideas, and keep him from internalizingher criticism.The other two bosses, Richard and Steve, were not Difficult People.Instead they found themselves in sticky situations where their subordinatesharbored major disagreements with them. In these situationsMark and Cynthia formed their SIJR Conversations from a standpointof genuine curiosity and compassion rather than anger and defensiveness.They, thereby, increased the likelihood that their bosses’ behaviorswould change.The next chapter explores sticky situations with co-workers. Whenwe look at these situations, we must also consider whether we are dealingwith Difficult People or people with whom we have a problem.Sometimes difficult co-workers demonstrate the traits of a DifficultPerson. These people are more challenging, but by using the SIJRModel, you can say it just right.