Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky E-situations 189nothing that might be prejudicial. Once Mickey knew that Nicholeheard him, he shared his own frustration.In the end Nichole wanted time to pray about this problem and wasthereby reluctant to agree to the resolution. Mickey, however, pushedher to agree to stop putting her religious views on the blog. The finaldecision lies with Nichole. Is having blog access more important toher than spreading the Word? Whatever she decides, Mickey hasaccomplished his goal to stop her from proselytizing on the companyblog.Specify the Problem. The first time Mickey specified the problem,he used neutral words. He referred to her posts as ‘‘religious innature.’’ He chose not to use the more explosive term, proselytizing.He knew she’d get defensive and he wanted to minimize her defensivenessas much as possible. The second time he specified the problem,he did so around the feelings of others. He said he wanted herto know that her blogging might ‘‘offend’’ others. He showed compassionashelistenedtohersideofthestoryandasheurgedhertohelp him find a solution.Invite the Other Person to Talk. Mickey invited Nichole to talk onseveral occasions. Dealing with an Expressive, he had no trouble gettingher to talk. The problem was getting her to talk about the rightthing. She spoke openly about her beliefs but gave him nothing thatmight lead to resolution. Her inability to see any resolution beyondher own determination suggested to Mickey that he’d have to resolvethe issue in his own way. He approached her with curiosity, almostbegging her for suggestions. But, she remained firm in her positionthat she was doing what God asked her to do.Join Feeling with Fact. It was not until the end of the conversationthat Mickey shared his feeling of frustration. He let Nichole know thathe wanted the blog to be an open forum. He wanted her to continueto post but only about her work successes and concerns. He did notwant her to turn the blog into a place where people espoused theirreligious views. In sharing his frustration,hehopedtogainhersupportand willingness to change.Resolve the Issue. In the end, Mickey resolved the issue and thenasked for Nichole’s agreement. He advised her that if she did not agreeto the blogging rules, he would remove her password access. This resolutionwas heavier than Mickey would have liked, but he could see noalternative without Nichole’s help and willingness.
190 Managing Sticky Situations at WorkCONCLUSIONIn this chapter we looked at sticky e-situations and how to apply theSay It Just Right Communication Model to resolve those situations.Both cases required a face-to-face conversation. Zack struggled toget Tommy to agree to a meeting, butoncehedid,hemanagedtoexpress his needs within the limits he set for himself. Zack ran the riskof Tommy never agreeing to meet in the first place. Had that happened,Zack might have decided to leave the company. As it turnedout, Zack helped Tommy see the importance of face-to-face contactwith staff. Although he only got 15-minute interviews, he consideredthat a step up from zero face time.In the second situation we saw a company that had the courage toinitiate an open internal blog. After years of working with the topexecutives, Mickey finally got the blog approved. Mickey did not wishto see it destroyed because one employee started using that platformfor her own purposes. If Mickey had allowed Nichole to continue toproselytize, he faced the possibility of others sharing their religiousor political views and the blog becoming a tool for extremists.Undoubtedly the CEO would then shut down the entire system.Nichole’s determination to share her views may be stronger thanMickey’s desire to keep the blog open. He may have to block her password.He realized that doing so might inflame Nichole to share herpassionate views in other ways. If that should happen, Mickey willneed to have another conversation with Nichole and take whateveraction may be necessary.Be aware that saying it just right does not always stop the behavior.It does, however, help people understand the issue in a way that invitesthem to participate in the resolution.NOTES1. David Shipley and Will Schwalbe, Send: The How, Why, When & WhenNot of Email (New York: Canongate, 2007), 6.2. Ibid., 35.
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
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Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Chapter 6Sticky Situations with Sub
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Sticky Situations with Subordinates
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Chapter 8Sticky Romantic Situations
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