Managing Sticky Situations at Work

34 Managing Sticky Situations at Work‘‘God, how many times do I have to tell you? This is not theirthing.’’‘‘Okay. I hear what you are saying. It frustrates me that you seemimpatient and annoyed when I’m simply trying to understand yoursuggestions. I feel as if you don’t want to share ideas with me. I respectand appreciate your thoughts about how we can get them to stretchwithout going too far. If we could share ideas—both accept eachother’s without undue criticism—in a brainstorming mode, it wouldreally help me. Would you be willing to do that?’’ (Redefines theproblem and joins feelings with fact.)Angie takes out a pencil. ‘‘If you change this to a square instead ofall these circles and if you mute the colors, you might have something.I’d also change the slogan. The one you have is too aggressive forMarcus. Maybe something like ...’’For the next 10 minutes Angie and Peter brainstorm together. As helistens to her and asserts his own thoughts, she softens.‘‘Angie, this is great. I really like what you’ve suggested. I’m goingto make the changes tonight.’’She scowls at him. ‘‘There’s no way you can get this ready in time.’’Peter says, ‘‘Oh yes I can. Even if I have to stay here all night and allday tomorrow, it’ll be ready. Thanks for your input.’’Before Peter leaves, he says to her. ‘‘Angie, I respect your creativemind. But, it’s very hard working here when you belittle everything Ido. Granted, I haven’t worked with Marcus as long as you have so itreally helped me to see what you thought would fly and what wouldnot. I think together we came up with a dynamite design that they willgo for. Next time I have a project like this, I’d like to get your honest,open feedback—like we just did, only sooner. Would you be willing todo that?’’ (Resolving the issue.)‘‘What do you mean by sooner?’’Peter knows Angie does not like meetings and will not sit in on clientmeetings. ‘‘After I meet with the client the first time and workup the preliminary designs, I’d like for us to meet for no more than,say, thirty minutes.’’‘‘If you think that would help, of course I’ll do it. But, e-mail yourprelims first to give me some lead time.’’He smiles. ‘‘Great, no problem. I really like this job and what I’mlearning by working with you. I can gain a lot from you if you’ll showme just a bit more patience. I cannot learn when you tell me it’s all