Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Situations in Meetings 115Albert answers, ‘‘We’re really jumping ahead of ourselves. We arenot yet ready to make these kinds of decisions. Why don’t we figureout what we need to organize for the rollout? Let’s make a list ofwhat decisions need to be made without making any today.’’(Albert moves away from his structured agenda. He specifies theproblem while he asks the group to organize without decisionmaking.)‘‘One thing we need to do is figure out which users will get the systemfirst,’’ Ruth says.‘‘Yeah, and part of that includes the amount of downtime necessary,’’adds Amy.People begin adding to the list. Albert writes down everything peoplesay and then he reads it all back to them.‘‘It looks as if we are going to need to meet more frequently until weget a plan. Can you guys meet again day after tomorrow at the sametime? I will put together what we have and e-mail it out,’’ Albert says.‘‘There’s no way I can meet this often,’’ says Jim. ‘‘I’ve got otherpriorities right now.’’‘‘I know it’s frustrating to have to be part of this project whenyou’ve got so many other things to do. I’m as frustrated as you sound,Jim. But, if we get this project off the ground successfully, things willbe better for all of us. If you can’t meet that soon, when can youmeet?’’ (Joins feelings with fact and poses a positive consequence.)‘‘Who else out there thinks we’re going to spend the next eightweeks spinning our wheels and then the top brass will tell us what todo the way they want it anyway?’’ asks Amy.‘‘Amy, tell me about what is really bothering you?’’ Albert asks.(Invites Amy to talk.)There’s a brief silence. Amy finally says, ‘‘I’ve been on these teamsbefore. We talk and talk about the best way to make this change andto get it out to people. Then, we finally come up with something noone really likes, just to get done by the deadline. The rollout happensandthenthere’sdowntimeandpeoplegonuts.Alltheideaswehadnever get implemented.’’‘‘Amy’s right,’’ adds Natalie. ‘‘I know you’re committed to this process,Albert, but what guarantees can you give us that what we suggestwill happen? What’s even more important, how can we be sure thatwhat we suggest is going to run as smoothly as possible?’’Albert tells them that he cannot make any guarantees. ‘‘I hear yourconcerns. Before I agreed to take on this project, I asked to select
116 Managing Sticky Situations at Workthe teams. The only guarantee I can give you is that each of you arepeople I know and trust. You have shown me that you will producewhat you say. Our job is to develop a rollout process for the Europeanoffices. I challenge you to think about things we can do to make surethat process will be implemented. You don’t have to answer that questionnow. But, I’d like to keep it front and center as we work. How doyou all feel about that?’’ (Poses a question to resolve the issue butdoes not ask for resolution. Instead asks for organization aroundresolution.)Everyone agrees to attend to that question as they work. They alsoagree to meet in two days at the same time.ANALYSISAt the beginning of the meeting when Albert stuck to his carefullyconstructed agenda, he ran into trouble. The group rebelled and gotbogged down in the mire of process, trying to answer questions theywere not ready to deal with. Frustrations rose. Groups in the FormingStage often face this problem. Once Albert moved away from hisagenda and began helping the group organize itself, he facilitatedsome forward motion. From there he could implement the SIJRModel.Specify the Problem. Albert specified that the group was trying tomake process decisions it was not yet ready to make. When Albertmoved away from his agenda, he could see this problem. Albert alsonoticed different personalities on the team, namely, Jim has Bold characteristicsand so does Natalie. The Technical in Amy is looking forperfection.Invite Others to Talk. When people complained or made negativecomments, Albert invited them to share with genuine curiosity. Heencouraged participation and listened to concerns.Join Feeling with Fact. Because Albert is dealing with Technicalstheir feelings are often masked in their language and their voice. Albertlistened and heard their frustration. He invited Amy to share moreabout what was really bothering her and by so doing uncovered concernsthat characterized a Technical personality and were probablymirrored by other Technicals in the group.Resolve the Issue. Albert recognized that this meeting could notresolve all the issues. He showed the group, however, that he heard
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
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Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Larry is clearly a Technical person
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Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
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Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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Chapter 5Sticky Situations with Cli
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Sticky Etiquette Situations 165Rita
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Sticky Etiquette Situations 167mone
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Her intent with this question was n
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202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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