Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Romantic Situations in the Office 127self, which is waving cautionary flags around Roberta’s behavior.Sometimes Dave imagines he will succumb to Roberta’s enticementsandfallintoanaffairwithher.ButthentheTechnicalinhimwarnsthat such an arrangement spells failure. Roberta has never had along-term relationship with a man. Dave must make it clear to her interms a Bold will understand that an intimate relationship for themwill destroy their friendship and their ability to work together. Forhim, it will doom his future with the company and possibly with theindustry.SAY IT JUST RIGHT CONVERSATIONDave goes to Roberta’s office and asks to meet with her at 6 P.M.‘‘I appreciate your seeing me this evening. I know you’re reallyslammed with the branch deal, but I wanted to clear the air aboutsome things,’’ Dave begins.Roberta pushes her reading glasses on her head and raises her brows,‘‘Clear the air?’’Dave settles across from Roberta and looks down at the arm of thechair. ‘‘I really enjoy working here—’’‘‘My God, you’re not quitting are you?’’ she interrupts.Dave laughs. ‘‘I hope not. But I am feeling uncomfortable. You see.I don’t know how to say this so I’m going to just spit it out. I get theimpression that you’d like our relationship to be more personal.’’(Specifies the problem.)Roberta smiles. ‘‘Are you suggesting that you feel uncomfortablewith me?’’Dave shifts in his seat. ‘‘It’s not you I’m uncomfortable with, it’s theway you sometimes behave. When we went to lunch yesterday, youwere acting more like my wife than my boss. That makes me nervous.I like you, and I find you an extremely attractive, appealing woman,but I’m not in a position to go beyond that. I love my wife and familyand want to keep that part of my life intact.’’ (Joins feelings withfacts.)Roberta shakes her head. ‘‘Of course you want to keep your familyintact. I never expected anything else from you.’’‘‘Look, Roberta, there’s no question that there might be somethingbetween us. But, I’m not comfortable with exploring that option. Ilike my job, and I appreciate the trust you put in me. I’d love to havea smooth working relationship without it going beyond what is professional.What is your take on this?’’ (Invites her to talk.)
128 Managing Sticky Situations at WorkRoberta leans back in her chair and stretches upward. ‘‘I nevermeant to make you feel nervous and uncomfortable. But, I won’t pretendthat I don’t find you attractive. I’m stimulated by the way youthink. It’s too bad, well, forget it. Igetwhatyou’resaying,andI’llbehave myself.’’‘‘Behaving ourselves is one option, but I also suggest we set someparameters.’’She laughs. ‘‘That sounds just like you. Okay, what do yousuggest?’’‘‘First of all, before you say anything to me, ask yourself if you’dsay that if my wife were in the room. I will do the same thing. Wecan keep each other in check that way. Secondly, I suggest we do nottravel together, at least for a while. That means I won’t be able to takethat trip to Boston next month. I’m sure Jennifer would love theopportunity to go. How do you feel about these ideas?’’ (Looks forresolution.)A frown crosses Roberta’s face. ‘‘I don’t mind the ‘wife’ test. But, Ineed you on that Boston trip. We’ve got to talk about how toapproach the downsizing on the East Coast. Jennifer can’t do that.Maybe we could go separately. I’ll leave two days ahead of you. Wecould also stay in two different hotels.’’‘‘But we’ll be eating dinner together every night,’’ says Dave witha sigh.‘‘Not necessarily. My cousin lives nearby. I’ll go see her and spendsome time there. That will give you several days on your own.’’‘‘Okay. That might work.’’ He pauses. ‘‘You’ve heard a couple ofmy parameters. What parameters might you suggest?’’Roberta shrugs. ‘‘Well, maybe we need to limit our contacts at theoffice. I probably drop by your area too frequently. How about wework out a regular meeting three times each week?’’Dave grins. ‘‘Is that something you really think you can do?’’‘‘Let’s give it a shot.’’‘‘Okay. How about first thing in the morning, Monday, Wednesday,and Friday?’’‘‘That works. Anything else?’’‘‘That’s it for now. Thanks for listening to me and for helping meresolve this issue. I want to keep working here. I’d hate for anythingbetween us to jeopardize that.’’ He rises to leave.‘‘Ditto there,’’ Roberta says.
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
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Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Larry is clearly a Technical person
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Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
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Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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30 Managing Sticky Situations at Wo
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Chapter 5Sticky Situations with Cli
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202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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