Managing Sticky Situations at Work

Sticky Situations on the Home Front 197She takes a deep breath. ‘‘I shouldn’t have done it. I guess all I wasthinking was you wouldn’t let me go. So, well, I just wouldn’t tellyou.’’‘‘Not telling is almost as bad as lying directly. It’s called a sin ofomission. Your dad and I were very disappointed that you felt youhad to lie to us. We thought we had an open relationship with you.’’(Joins feelings with fact.)‘‘Yeah, so long as I do what you want.’’ She turns away from hermother.‘‘Maybe we need to talk more about what it is you want. Maybe wehaven’t given you enough of a chance to share what you want.’’(Looks for resolution.)Katie turns back and stares at Anita.Anita asks, ‘‘I’m curious to know what might work for you the nexttime you want to do something you think we might disapprove of?’’She shrugs and grins. ‘‘Just let me go.’’‘‘What could you do that you didn’t do this time?’’‘‘Maybe I could’ve asked you first.’’Her mother raises her brows. ‘‘But, you just said if you asked us,we’d have said no. What else could you do?’’‘‘I could maybe tell you about what it is and why I want to go.’’‘‘If you had done that with this party, do you think we would haveallowed you to go?’’She shakes her head. ‘‘Probably not.’’‘‘Why not?’’‘‘I suppose because Jason’s parents were out of town and, youknow, because Jason’s a university student and all.’’Anita nods. ‘‘If we had talked about it and decided with you thatthis wasn’t the best party for you to go to, what could we have doneto make you feel better?’’There’s a long silence. Anita waits and watches Katie.‘‘What if we gave you an option to do something else special? Youcould have had Livie and some of your other friends over or maybewe would’ve let you go to that Dave Matthews concert you want togo to.’’‘‘Awesome.’’‘‘Unfortunately we didn’t have that conversation. I’m thinking thatnext time when you think we won’t let you do something, why notask? Even if you don’t get to do that thing, we might allow you todo something else instead. How does that sound?’’