Managing Sticky Situations at Work

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Sticky Romantic Situations in the Office 129ANALYSISThere is no guarantee that Roberta will change her behavior. ButDave can, at least, point out when she crosses the line. Because hewas dealing with a Bold, he had to get directly to the point, and hehad to be careful not to respond to a ‘‘quick fix.’’ When Roberta saidshe’d behave, she thought the matter was finished. Dave pushedharder to come to a resolution he thought might stick.Specify the Problem. The problem was that Dave felt Robertawanted more from him than a professional relationship. He did notdelay in saying this, and he said it as directly as he could. With a Sympatheticor an Expressive, he might have had to give Roberta morestrokes and eased himself into the discussion. Roberta’s Bold personalityenabled him to get to the point quickly.Invite the Other Person to Talk. Dave did not invite Roberta totalk right away. He waited until he had fully expressed what hethought was going on. He did that because he was dealing with a Boldpersonality. Had he invited her to talk too soon, she may have dismissedthe problem. Instead he made it clear how he felt and whattheconsequencesmightbethenheinvited her to share her ‘‘take’’on the problem.Join Feeling with Fact. Dave talked about feeling uncomfortableand nervous. He made it clear that it was Roberta’s behaviors thatmade him uncomfortable, not Roberta herself. He, thereby, let Robertaknow that his unease could change.Resolve the Issue. Dave pushed for a resolution he could live with.Feeling uncomfortable traveling with Roberta, he gave her an opportunityto come up with a plan for travel that would satisfy him. He alsoasked her for other things they could do to set parameters on theirrelationship.STICKY SITUATION #16:ROMANCE THAT DISRUPTS THE OFFICEDr. Jordan is the surgical director for a large regional hospital.The department employs 14 physicians as well as a broad complementof aides, nurses, physicians’ assistants, and other staff. Lastyear one of the senior surgeons, Larry Stewart, and a new surgeon,Roxanne Mosley, started an affair. This relationshipbecame apparent to Dr. Jordan after finding the two physicians
130 Managing Sticky Situations at Workin a compromising position in the doctor’s lounge. At that time,Dr. Jordan asked them to be more discreet, but he did not takefurther action.In recent months, the relationship has caused some difficultyamong the staff. Larry Stewart is married to a woman who runsthe hospital’s development program. Everyone knows and likesLarry’s wife, Nancy. Before the affair with Roxanne Mosley,Larry and Nancy ate lunch frequently in the hospital cafeteriawhere other staff interacted with the couple. Furthermore, oneof Nancy’s best friends, Margaret James, works as a physician’sassistant in the department. She makes her disapproval of therelationship known by saying several nasty things to Roxannein hearing range of patients.Recently Dr. Jordan learned that rumors of the affair hadreached the hospital administrator through a board member.APPLYING THE SAY IT JUST RIGHT MODELDECISION POINTSDr. Jordan weighs the costs. The affair between Drs. Stewart andMosley is causing problems in the department. He catches people talkingabout the couple in the corridors of the department. The two‘‘lovers’’ can’t seem to keep away from one another. During meetingsthey sit together and use any excuse to touch one another. They alsosupport each other’s comments without censure. Dr. Stewart has beenwith the department for a long time, and everyone respects him as asurgeon. Dr. Mosley is newer, but she’s highly skilled. Dr. Jordanwould hate to lose either one of these gifted physicians, but if he doesnothing, he fears that the affair will tear the entire department apart.Some people side with the couple while others side against them.Dr. Jordan sets limits. Dr. Jordan does not really care about whatpeople do in their personal lives so long as that behavior does notaffect the operations of the department. He decides that Drs. Stewartand Mosley must decide if they are going to continue their relationshipand if so, one or both must resign.Determines the power sources. Even though Dr. Jordan feels confidentthat he has a strong power base, he recognizes that Dr. Stewartcarries a lot of weight based on his outstanding reputation as a surgeon.Jordan expects that the hospital administrator will fight forkeeping Stewart. Fewer people know Mosley, but her skill has become
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ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
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AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
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xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
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xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
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Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
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The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
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Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
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Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
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Personality Overlay 21energy seems
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Larry is clearly a Technical person
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Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
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Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
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Chapter 5Sticky Situations with Cli
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Sticky Situations with Clients 65Un
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‘‘I’m glad to hear that. I wa
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Sticky Situations with Clients 77AN
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202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
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204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
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206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
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IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
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Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
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Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
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