Managing Sticky Situations at Work

More documents

Recommendations

Info

Sticky Situations with Your Boss 35wrong without specifying what is wrong. I want to avoid a crisis likethis again.’’Angie agrees she, too, wants to avoid a crisis like this.ANALYSISPeter knows that Angie may not change. But, he has reasserted himselfand he did it with curiosity and compassion. Creating the rightmoment and listening with an open mind to her suggestions helpedhim relate to her. He also did not enter her office in a defensive mode,he entered in a curious mode.Specify the Problem. The main problem Peter identified was thatAngie did not spend enough time with him at the outset of a projectand once she got the design, she refused to specify what was wrong.Invite the Other Person to Talk. Peter persisted in asking Angiefor her input on the particular project in question. He pushed her untilshe gave him specific feedback.Join Feeling with Fact. He shared his frustration with her impatienceand apparent unwillingness to give him solid, constructive feedback.Resolve the Issue. Peter suggested meeting sooner, but he knewshe’d balk at going to client meetings. Her idea about sending a preliminarye-mail suggested that she bought into the solution. Peteradded a positive consequence at the end by saying he wanted to avoidcrises like this in the future. He also intimated that he liked workingthere so long as he could get solid feedback from her. If he could notget such feedback, the job would be less pleasing. Dealing with a Boldpersonality, Peter knew better than to ask Angie for suggestions tosolve the problem. Instead, he threw ideas out and gauged herresponse.STICKY SITUATION #2:HOW TO STAY COOL WHEN YOU’RE IN THE HOT SEATMark works in sales for a large pharmaceutical company. It’stime for his performance review. He has focused all year onincreasing his numbers as well as increasing his sales. Last yearafter an average review, his boss, Richard, told him he neededto improve if he wanted to advance in the company. Mark feelsas if he’s done everything he can to satisfy Richard. As Markwalks into Richard’s office for the annual review, his body tensesand his heartbeat quickens.
36 Managing Sticky Situations at WorkAPPLYING THE SAY IT JUST RIGHT MODELDECISION POINTSMark determines the costs. In this company without high markson performance, there is no way to advance. Mark is in his mid-40s.He perceives his time running out. He must move forward in thisjob or find another job where he can move forward. He does notfeel Richard appreciates his work. Nonetheless, he prefers to remaininthiscompanywherethebenefitsaregoodandwherehe’sestablishedhimself.Mark sets the limits. Last year Richard gave him a middle of theroad review. Mark accepted the assessment, but determined he’d dobetter. This time he will not accept a mediocre review without knowingexactly what Richard expects of him and how he can increase hisrating.Mark looks at the power source. In Mark’s view Richard sits in thepower seat. He’s the boss, and he divvies up the numbers. Mark’s onlyrecourse is to resign under protest or to accept what Richard says. Thisfeeling of powerlessness makes Mark nervous before the review begins.MarkhasworkedinthecompanyforfiveyearsandinRichard’sdepartment for two. His sales records exceed the other salespeopleon the team. He has proven his success both to Richard’s boss andto his outside clients. He decides that Richard can’t afford to losehim. Not only would the company lose a good salesman, but Mark’sleaving would also reflect badly on Richard.SAY IT JUST RIGHT CONVERSATION‘‘Well, here we are again,’’ Richard says. ‘‘Have a seat and let’s getthis over with.’’ Richard looks away, shuffles the papers in front ofhim and bites his lower lip.‘‘So, what’s the verdict?’’ Mark asks with a chuckle to release thetension in the room.‘‘Let’s just go through this review item by item, okay?’’ He scowls.‘‘I gave you a 3 out of 5 in working with others in the company. Wetalked about this last year, and I don’t see any improvement.’’‘‘I’m really disappointed because I worked really hard this year.I increased my sales by 15 percent. I had hoped that would reflect onmy evaluation. Tell me what I’m not doing so I can make correctionsnext year.’’ (Specifies the problem while joining feeling with fact.)
Page 2:
Managing StickySituations at WorkCo
Page 6 and 7: Managing StickySituations at WorkCo
Page 8: ContentsIllustrationsviiAcknowledgm
Page 12: AcknowledgmentsAs a disclaimer, all
Page 15 and 16: xiiIntroductionis the word that oft
Page 17 and 18: xivIntroduction4. You supervise a g
Page 20 and 21: Chapter 1The Say It Just Right (SIJ
Page 22 and 23: The Say It Just Right (SIJR) Model
Page 36 and 37: Chapter 2Personality OverlayAtthiss
Page 38 and 39: Personality Overlay 19BOLD PERSONAL
Page 40 and 41: Personality Overlay 21energy seems
Page 42 and 43: Larry is clearly a Technical person
Page 44 and 45: Personality Overlay 25‘‘John kn
Page 46: Personality Overlay 27Resolve the I
Page 49 and 50: 30 Managing Sticky Situations at Wo
Page 53: 34 Managing Sticky Situations at Wo
Page 82 and 83: Chapter 5Sticky Situations with Cli
Page 84 and 85: Sticky Situations with Clients 65Un
Page 86 and 87: Sticky Situations with Clients 67
Page 88 and 89: Sticky Situations with Clients 69ve
Page 90 and 91: Sticky Situations with Clients 71
Page 92 and 93: ‘‘I’m glad to hear that. I wa
Page 94 and 95: Sticky Situations with Clients 75fr
Page 96 and 97: Sticky Situations with Clients 77AN
Page 98 and 99: Chapter 6Sticky Situations with Sub
Page 100 and 101: Sticky Situations with Subordinates
Page 102 and 103: Sticky Situations with Subordinates
Page 104 and 105:
Sticky Situations with Subordinates
Page 106 and 107:
Page 108 and 109:
Page 110 and 111:
Page 112 and 113:
Page 114 and 115:
Page 116 and 117:
Chapter 7Sticky Situations in Meeti
Page 118 and 119:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 99you
Page 120 and 121:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 101
Page 122 and 123:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 103to
Page 124 and 125:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 105me
Page 126 and 127:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 107SA
Page 128 and 129:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 109wa
Page 130 and 131:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 111SA
Page 132 and 133:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 113ac
Page 134 and 135:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 115Al
Page 136 and 137:
Sticky Situations in Meetings 117wh
Page 138 and 139:
Chapter 8Sticky Romantic Situations
Page 140 and 141:
Sticky Romantic Situations in the O
Page 142 and 143:
Page 144 and 145:
Page 146 and 147:
Page 148 and 149:
Page 150 and 151:
Page 152 and 153:
Page 154 and 155:
Page 156 and 157:
Page 158:
Page 161 and 162:
142 Managing Sticky Situations at W
Page 163 and 164:
Page 165 and 166:
Page 167 and 168:
Page 169 and 170:
Page 171 and 172:
Page 173 and 174:
Page 176 and 177:
Chapter 10Sticky Etiquette Situatio
Page 178 and 179:
Sticky Etiquette Situations 159not
Page 180 and 181:
Sticky Etiquette Situations 161‘
Page 182 and 183:
Sticky Etiquette Situations 163she
Page 184 and 185:
Sticky Etiquette Situations 165Rita
Page 186 and 187:
Sticky Etiquette Situations 167mone
Page 188 and 189:
Her intent with this question was n
Page 190 and 191:
Sticky Etiquette Situations 171inte
Page 192:
Sticky Etiquette Situations 173it i
Page 195 and 196:
Page 197 and 198:
Page 199 and 200:
Page 201 and 202:
Page 203 and 204:
Page 205 and 206:
Page 207 and 208:
Page 209 and 210:
Page 211 and 212:
Page 213 and 214:
Page 215 and 216:
Page 217 and 218:
Page 219 and 220:
Page 221 and 222:
202 Appendix 14. True5. False6. Fal
Page 223 and 224:
204 Appendix 1Strategic interviewer
Page 225 and 226:
206 Appendix 2360 By Design®—Des
Page 228 and 229:
IndexAdjourning Stage in groups, 10
Page 230 and 231:
Index 211hot seat, 35-39How Good a
Page 232:
Index 213Teenage Daughter Is Busted
show all

Managing Sticky Situations at Work

Create successful ePaper yourself

Delete template?

Save as template?